Sweets' Origin
by brainysmrf
Summary: The first story of 4 about love, loss, redemption and home...
1. Chapter 1

On a Thursday night in early autumn, Seeley Booth found himself doing something that was quite unusual for him – he was out, having dinner with a woman who wasn't a co-worker. It had been so long since he'd been on an actual date he was starting to question his ability to handle it properly without appearing like a fraud to everyone in sight.

It wasn't like it had been actively looking for a dining companion, he literally ran right into her. He was running the cross-country course near his house and found himself so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't see her standing on the side of the trail fiddling with her Ipod. By the time he did notice her, he had already bumped into her back with the full force of his body, pushing her face first into the dirt. Thankfully, Gwen had been a good sport about the incident – mainly due to her deep devotion to men with charming smiles and dark brown eyes.

He helped her up, apologizing profusely and they struck up a playful conversation as he walked her back to her car. She told him that she was in town for just a few weeks on business. He asked her for her phone number because that's what normal single men do when they meet beautiful women who seem to be interested in them. He casually called her the next day to make sure he hadn't caused any major damage and they made plans for dinner.

Dinner was much less stressful than he had anticipated. Gwen was smart, funny and they were never at a loss for topics of conversation. It didn't hurt that she was a knockout, either. By the end of the meal, Booth was completely relaxed and was contemplating asking her out for a second date. That was until a certain Sweet-heart of a doctor entered the restaurant and Booth noticed him instantly.

"Of course…" he grumbled under his breath.

"What's wrong?" Gwen's eyes darted around the dining room until she saw her own reason to grumble. "What is he doing here?"

"He who?" Booth whipped his head around to see Dr. Sweets a mere 15 feet from their table.

"My little brother's over there – I didn't even tell him I was coming here…"

Feeling like a heel for not already knowing the answer, he asked, "What's your last name?"

"Sweets. Why?" She answered looking down at the table trying to avoid eye contact with her brother.

Booth rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. "Lance Sweets is your little brother? This is perfect!"

"Do you know him?"

"He works with me and my partner....at the bureau." Booth pretended to roll his eyes but he was really taking notice of all of the available exits.

"You've got to be kidding me?"

"Gwen, I really wish I was."

Suddenly, Gwen had a Eureka moment flash across her face. "You're the one – aren't you?"

"The one what?" Paranoia swept over him, he could only imagine the things Sweets could have told her – thinking they would never meet.

"The one he's terrified of…" She could barely get the words out before erupting in laughter. Her laughing may as well have been a neon sign over their table, drawing Sweets to them. As far as Booth was concerned, it was worth it. He now had confirmation – Sweetness was indeed scared shitless of him.

When Sweets heard his sister's unmistakable laugh he instantly made his way to their table. Choosing to ignore Booth for the time being he addressed his sister, "Gwen, I didn't know you had plans tonight."

"How's it going Sweets?" Booth grinned – his mind was racing. There were just so many scenarios he could tease the kid with.

"I'm fine, Agent Booth.. I was going to bring Gwen- _my sister_- by to meet the rest of the team tomorrow but I see you've already met."

"Actually Lancer, Seeley and I were just getting ready to leave so I'll see you back at your place?"

"I guess…" The young doctor felt sick to his stomach as he watched Agent Booth and his sister rush out of the restaurant. Then he started to think of ways to have this incident work for him rather than against him.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Sorry about that." Gwen apologized as she and Booth made their way to the car.

"It's not a problem – I just never expected that Sweets would have…"

"What?" She asked with an amused look on her face.

Leaning up against the side of the SUV, Booth sighed, "Look, I know he's your brother but it's hard to imagine that he's related to you. You seem to be so well adjusted and….and normal." He was embarrassed that he may have insulted his new friend's little brother.

"I'm the first to admit that he's a little socially awkward and hides behind his intellect but that's not entirely his fault."

"Then whose fault is it?"

"Do you want to take a walk?"

As they walked through the streets of Georgetown, Gwen started to fill Booth on the Sweets family. "Our mother was 42 when she had Lance – 23 years ago a woman in her 40's having a child was…unusual to say the least."

"So, Sweets was a medical miracle?" Booth asked sarcastically.

"Not exactly, but our parents doted on him like he was." She took a seat on a bench, indicating that there was more to tell. Booth joined her on the bench. "They called him their 'Angel Baby' and they only saw perfection when they looked at him."

"They coddled him?"

Gwen nodded in agreement, "At least for the first few years of his life. Our parents were, I guess the best way to describe them would be hippies, you know, real activist types? They marched for anything and everything, moved all over the country following their 'beliefs'. They raised us with very little structure. We were well taken care of but always just a hair away from total chaos."

"So your brother's tidy little world is to compensate for that?"

"More than likely….."

"We didn't have a normal childhood – although what can you really say is normal? We moved – a lot. I managed to blend in because I played sports and was fairly outgoing but Lance…"

"He was always the scrawny new kid?"

"Exactly – that coupled with the fact that his I.Q. was off the charts set him apart from the crowd. With every new school came a new bully. He got beat up a lot and couldn't defend himself. By the time he was 10 he completely withdrew into himself, it killed me. So…. I decided that it was my place to fight his battles for him."

Booth smiled, "You beat up the kids who beat up your brother?"

"Sometimes…. Not exactly a confidence builder for Lance but I did what I thought was right. I think part of him still resents me for it but I didn't see another option."

That was something that Booth understood. He had on more than one occasion been accused of protecting the ones he loved too much.

"Our parents never did anything about it, they had given up the coddling approach when Lance turned 5. They were such pacifists they thought the physical abuse he received daily was character building. They believed that his intelligence and reasoning abilities were nurtured by the constant compromises he made at such an early age. In hindsight, maybe they were right – eventually he did learn how to handle people who were physically opposing with just his wits."

Walking back to the car, Booth internally squirmed knowing that he had the tendency to be the sort of person that Sweets had learned to 'handle' from an early age.

When he dropped Gwen off at Sweets' apartment he thanked her for a nice night and kissed her on the cheek. Thinking of the opportunity he was getting ready to walk away from him, he mumbled, "This is just my luck."

"Mine too, first promising guy I meet in ages and he works with my little brother, I wish we had met under different circumstances –"

He breathed out heavily, "I know, it would have been nice. Good night, Gwen. I'm sure I'll see again before you leave." Gwen closed the door behind him and wondered why a man like him was still single – she hoped Lance would be able to fill in the blanks on that one.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Headed to his car, Booth saw Sweets in the parking lot and decided to stop and try to smooth things over with the young one before work the next day.

"Hey, Sweets!" He called out as he walked toward the doctor.

"Agent Booth, have a good night?" He asked without looking at the agent.

"Hey, you know I never would have asked her out if I knew she was your sister – it was a chance meeting. I'm not going to see her again."

Sweets breathed a sigh of relief that he had been holding since he watched his sister and the agent leave the restaurant. "Oh, thank God…. Actually, Agent Booth, I don't really mind that you took my sister out. If I had to pick any guy I knew to date Gwen….itwouldbeyou." Sweets mumbled the last part – not wanting to inflate Booth's ego. "She's different and needs special care…"

"Thanks Sweets." Booth smiled bumping him on the shoulder gently with his fist, regardless of how he felt about Sweets he knew what it meant to give someone the ok to date a sibling – it meant a lot.

"I trust that no one knew you had a date tonight?" And by no one, they both knew he meant Brennan.

"No – it was just dinner and I don't generally share my personal life – at least I didn't back when I had a personal life."

"Work really does get in the way, huh?

"Yeah, work." Booth stood with his hands jammed in his front pockets not sure what to say next.

"It's late and we have an early meeting at the museum tomorrow, which I'm planning on bringing Gwen to so she can meet everyone. I can keep this to myself if you can – deal?" Even though Lance knew this situation was brimming with opportunities to push Booth over the edge he also knew that it had the chance to backfire on him.

"Deal – thanks buddy." Booth walked away feeling two separate but very distinct emotions about the exact same thing. He was full of both relief and regret that another dinner with Gwen was not a possibility.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Booth arrived at the lab earlier than usual. He knew that by coming at this unexpected time he was certain to run into only the person he wanted to talk to and no one he didn't.

Sauntering up to Hodgins' workstation, Booth greeted the doctor, "Hey Hodgins - you gotta minute?"

"Whoa..." Hodgins spun his stool around to face Booth. "This has got to be good, you're here ridiculously early and you're looking for me, _not_ Dr. Brennan."

Leaning against the partition that separated Jack's area from the rest of the lab, Booth narrowed his eyes in on Hodgins, "Look, I've got something that I can't talk to anyone else about – can you keep your mouth shut?"

"Absolutely."

"That means no telling Angela."

"I can only promise that I won't tell her – I can't be held accountable if she reads my mind, ok?"

Considering the artist's unbelievable knack for reading people, Booth conceded, "Fair enough."

"What can I do you for?"

Booth took a deep breath, "So a few days ago I'm running the trail near my house…" he proceeded to tell Hodgins the entire story of his chance meeting with Gwen, their evening together and all about Sweets' unconventional childhood.

"Dude…" Was all Hodgins could muster after hearing the entire story.

"I know, right?" He threw his hands up in defeat.

"What are the chances that Sweets' sister would be the first woman you ask out in what, 2 years?"

Booth rolled his eyes, "Why do you know how long it's been since I've been on a date – is the lack of testosterone in the lab turning you into one of the gals?"

"I live with Angie – name a single acquaintance that you and I share and more than likely, I know when the last time that they got any was." Hodgins boasted, there were perks to sharing a home with the real-life Chatty Cathy.

"Bones?" The name flew out of Booth's mouth before he even had the chance to think about what he was asking.

Loving this new sharing of information between he and Booth, Hodgins quickly offered," Last month, that guy from Sotheby's…I'm drawing a blank on his name…"

"Kyle…" Booth muttered under his breath.

"That's the one. Are you going to see Sweets' sis again?"

"No, I told him I wouldn't and besides how weird would it be to date my therapist's sister?"

"But you had a good time with her?" Hodgins was slightly confused.

"Yeah, I did. She was…she was interesting. Very different."

"If she were anyone else, someone not related to a co-worker, would you want to see her again?"

"Maybe, but she is who she is so there's no point in discussing it."

"Then why are you here so early, talking to me about it?"

"I just had to tell someone who wouldn't judge me for it." Hodgins was impressed that Booth was actually confiding in him. "And trust me, not only would Bones and the rest judge me, they'd heckle me, too."

Taking advantage of Booth's new found confidence in him, Hodgins asked, "Was she hot?" He raised his eyebrows in anticipation.

With a smirk the agent said, "Smokin' – you'll see for yourself, he's bringing her by later to meet everyone."

"Dude, that's going to be an awkward situation – I can't wait"

"We just had dinner…" He growled.

"Who'd you _just_ have dinner with, Booth?" Brennan asked as she breezed into the lab.

Booth responded with the first name that came to his mind. "Rebecca."

"Uh, Yeah, I thought...t-t-that the big guy and his ex were giving it another go but…" Hodgins stammered through an excuse that he hoped was believable enough for Brennan.

"We just had dinner to discuss visitation with Parker for the holidays."

"Ok. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." She turned on her heel and headed away from the guys.

"_That_ is exactly why I don't discuss personal issues in this place – too many hard places for sound to bounce off of." He hissed at Hodgins as he walked away, headed for Brennan's office

Entering her office Booth greeted Brennan as upbeat as possible, "Good Morning Bones. How's my favorite partner today?"

Without looking up from her desk, Brennan responded, "I would hope that I'm your favorite partner since I'm your only partner. Why are you here so early?"

"I got a jump start to my day – I've already worked out and been to the Hoover building – so here I am, ready to go!" He explained with arms wide open.

"Congratulations on having such a productive morning – did you need something from me?"

He took a seat in the chair across from her desk and leaned forward, "What's wrong, Bones? I know it usually takes you an hour or so in the morning before you're ready to deal with people, mainly me, but you're being meaner than normal."

She looked up at him with exhausted eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so busy without an assistant and then I got a call late yesterday requesting that I go to Quantico to teach a seminar Monday and Tuesday of next week."

"I thought you loved that stuff? You get out of the lab, you get to drive yourself somewhere and you get to prove to a bunch of strangers just how brilliant you are."

This forced a slight smile to peak through her grumpy disposition. "Normally you'd be right, but they're sending me with Sweets. They want us to do a presentation about non-medical forensic work. Of course, I get an email from him last night requesting that we set aside 'at least 8 hours' this weekend to put the presentation together."

"You talked to Sweets last night?" Booth wondered when they talked and what else they talked about.

"Just emails. He's coming by here this morning – apparently his sister is visiting and he wanted to introduce her to all of us, I wonder if she's anything like him?"

"Nah, I think she's pretty normal." When this caused Brennan to shoot him an odd look he followed up by saying, "I mean growing up with Sweets she probably had to perfect being normal just to separate herself from him and his goofy genius thing he has going on."

"A goofy genius thing? A lot of people are considered geniuses are they all goofy?"

"No, there's all types of genius – Sweets is of the goofy variety."

"What about Hodgins?"

"Hodgins is of the maniacal but harmless variety." Before she had the chance to ask about herself he said, "And you are of the unexpected kind – no one sees you coming."

"Meaning?"

"Let's just say that upon first glance, people don't see the brains, ok?" He winked at her and headed up to the lounge to snag a donut before the briefing.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"You know Lancer, I really thought that your office would be smaller. But this is awesome, Mom and Pop would be proud." Gwen commented happily as she inspected all of the gadgets and toys in her little brother's workspace. "I'm sure that framed Weezer album goes over real well with all the G-men." She grinned at him loving that he hadn't let Feds take away who he was at his core – he was still her goofy, brilliant, and good-hearted brother.

Sweets was psyched that his sister was impressed with his position at the bureau, he knew that she would be even more blown away by the Jeffersonian and couldn't wait to take her over there. There were just a few things that he needed to discuss with her beforehand. "Gwen, you never did tell me how long you're going to be here."

"Does it matter? Am I cramping your style, Angel Baby?"

"You know I hate it when you call me that. And I'm thrilled to have you here but is this a vacation or are you wandering again?" Sweets never knew what to expect when it came to Gwen.

"If you're asking if I still have a job, technically I am still with the company."

"Technically, Gwen?" His sister was 30 years old and was currently employed by a major jewelry design firm; this was the fifth company she had worked for in less than four years. Sweets blamed it on her lack of impulse control while Gwen blamed it society's need to put such strict confines on what people should and should not do.

"I'm on a leave of absence." She said calmly as she took a seat across from his desk.

"Is this leave self-imposed or company-imposed?"

"Stop it – you're not my shrink! I'm your sister, the only family you have in the whole world, you should be happy just to see me. I know I'm happy just to be here with you."

Her words pelted Sweets with guilt. "I know but you have to get that I worry about you. You understand why, right?"

"What are we doing today?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I have a briefing over at the Jeffersonian in about 30 minutes, I really want you to come with me and meet the people I work closest with and then I thought you could tour the museum while I conduct a session. Sound good?"

"Is Seeley going to be there?" she asked with a touch of dread in her voice. She wasn't exactly chomping at the bit to see the great guy that she couldn't 'see' anymore.

"Yes, and it'll make things a lot easier for everyone if don't mention your date while we're there, ok?"

"I understand, it just sucks. He had potential. – is he 'HJ' in your latest case study?"

"You know I can't tell you that. Come on let's go – we need to get to the lab."

"I think he's definitely 'HJ'. He fits the profile perfectly. And his partner, Dr. Brennan, is most certainly "PD'."

"What makes you an expert on psychological profiles? You design jewelry for a living."

"I think my life experience alone makes me an expert - don't you?" She countered, following her annoyed sibling out of his office.

As they got on the elevator he grumbled, "I guess so."

On the ride over to the museum, Sweets briefed his sister on who she would be meeting and then left her with one request.

"Gwen, I've been working really hard for the past year to gain the respect of these people – they are truly the best at what they do – please don't embarrass me. _Do not_ call me Angel Baby in front of any of them."

"I promise I'll behave, wasn't I always a cool older sister?"

"Yes, you were." He nodded in agreement. _You were always cool as long as you took your meds,_ he thought to himself.

Hodgins made his way up to the lounge area, where he found Booth leaning over the railing. "Ready for the briefing?" he asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.

"Can't wait." Booth mumbled before taking a swig of his coffee. "Hodgins don't forget-"

"I'm not going to say a word." Just then the automatic sliding doors to the lab opened and in walked Sweets and Gwen. Hodgins took one look at the psychologist's sister and said, "Dude, she's…I mean…she can't be related to Sweets – no way they share DNA!"

"See how bad my luck is?" The two men watched them walk through the lab. Sweets stopped near the platform to introduce Gwen to Angela and Cam. Booth turned and took a seat at the big table. Hodgins continued to watch the activities down below.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Sweets knocked on Dr. Brennan's open door and entered. "Dr. Brennan, I wanted to introduce you to my sister, this is Gwen."

Brennan stood and shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too, I've heard a lot about you – nothing related to the work that you do with Lance but just you and the rest of the group in general. He never tells me anything good." Gwen smiled, hoping that she wasn't going to get Sweets in trouble.

"I trust that Dr. Sweets wouldn't divulge anything that would go against policy." Brennan shot Sweets a questioning look.

"Of course I wouldn't. I value my job."

"You value not getting punched by Booth – that's what you value." She said with a sly grin, turning to Gwen she explained, "Booth is my partner and your brother is afraid of him."

"No, I used to be afraid. Now, I'm just a little jumpy around him." Sweets defended himself to his sister.

"Speaking of Booth, have you seen him?" Brennan's eyes scanned the lab through the windows of her office. There was no sign of her partner.

"Not today, is he here?" Sweets didn't know how to behave regarding Booth.

"He was here earlier, he's probably upstairs stealing all the good donuts." Looking at her watch she said, "Sweets, we should head up there ourselves, it's time for the meeting……Gwen, you can come along if you want – we won't be discussing anything too crucial."

"Are you sure Dr. Brennan?" Sweets was surprised that Brennan was being so inviting.

"Absolutely, come on." The Sweets' followed her out of her office.

Before heading up the stairs, Sweets stopped Gwen. "Remember, you've never met Booth and you promised to not embarrass me, ok?"

"Ok! You better get up there. You don't want to be late for your meeting, Angel Baby."

"Gwen! You promised!" He hissed at her as he pinched her arm.

"Ouch! No one heard me, you need to lighten up." She whispered to his back as they climbed the stairs.

As Sweets prepared his fake introduction between Booth and Gwen, Brennan stepped in and took care of it for him.

"Gwen, you've met everyone except for Dr. Hodgins and Booth." She pointed to her partner and he stood, ever the gentleman, to greet her. "This is my partner, Special Agent Seeley Booth."

"Nice to meet you, Agent Booth." They quickly shook hands

He smiled, "You too." Then, he quickly resumed his seat at the table.

"And this is Dr. Hodgins, he handles insects and particulates."

Hodgins turned in his chair and shook her hand with both of his. "You can call me Jack, I'm the bug and slime guy."

"You're the Mulder of the group. The 'the truth is out there' guy, right?" Gwen recalled what Lance had told her on the drive over as she took a seat between Angela and Brennan. The group all snickered at her comment.

"So, it's safe to say that Dr. Sweets talks about us. Good to know." Hodgins said under his breath.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Once everyone was settled, the meeting began. Gwen seemed to be completely fascinated with all the different aspects of their work, she was focused intently on Cam and Brennan as they discussed current cases and the week's progress.

The rest of the group was not quite as attentive. They were too busy watching each other. Angela focused on Jack while Jack focused on Booth while Booth focused on Sweets while Sweets focused on his sister.

When the meeting was over, Angela grabbed Hodgins and pulled him away from the group. "What's going on?"

Booth's secret was less than 2 hours old and already she was going to pry it out of him. "What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"I expect you to not pay attention to the meeting, Lord knows I don't. I even expect you to stare at a beautiful woman you just met, but I do not expect you to stare at Booth!"

"I was staring at Booth? I didn't realize. I was thinking about everything I have to do today."

"While staring at Booth?" She asked with a smirk.

"What? You can admit that another woman is hot but you have issues with me admiring another man?" Hodgins couldn't believe the lengths he was going to just to protect Booth's secret.

"Not going to tell me the truth?"

"Angie, it's nothing."

"Fine. Be that way." Angela turned to address the group, "Hey Booth! Jack thinks you're hot!"

Booth assumed that Angela's little outburst had something to do with what he had told Hodgins earlier, so he decided to play along. Over the group's laughter, Booth called out "Thanks Jack but I just think you're a really nice guy."

"It's ok Booth, I know you're out of my league." Hodgins called back.

Angela was frustrated – she had never been out smarted by Hodgins or Booth. She stormed off the platform into her office.

Booth made his way over to Hodgins, "Now, what was that about?"

"Angie thought I was staring at you during the meeting and she wanted to know why. So…I told her…I thought you were attractive."

Booth stepped back, "Thanks for taking one for the team but don't stare at me any more."

"I'll try." Hodgins winked at Booth and scooted down the stairs before the agent had a chance to retaliate.

Sweets sat at the table and watched his sister interact with Cam and Brennan. She was talking very fast and gesturing wildly. At first he thought she was nervous about the Booth situation but then he started to think about her overall behavior since she had come into town. _How could I have been so blind_, he thought, _it's my job to pick up on these things. I don't have time for this._ He sighed, hating himself for resenting his sister.

"What's wrong, Sweets?" Booth was the only one close enough to hear the doctor breathing heavily.

"I just realized that I have something else to take care of – do you and Dr. Brennan mind if we reschedule our session?" Sweets needed time to talk to with Gwen, time that meeting with the partners would not allow him.

"Hey Bones, are you going to be heart broken if Sweets cancels on us today?"

"Yes, I will." She deadpanned.

Booth laughed "Look at you Bones, trying to be funny."

"Honestly, Dr. Sweets it's fine." Brennan responded.

"Thank you. I'll have Becky call one of you to reschedule. Gwen, ready?"

"Dr. Brennan was going to give me a quick tour of the lab – do we have time?"

"Yeah, I guess." He sat back down at the table. At least now he would have extra time to figure out what to say to her.

After the ladies left the lounge area, Booth joined Sweets at the table. "What's really wrong, little buddy?"

"Nothing. There's just something I need to do."

"You're a bad liar."

Sweets looked over at Booth and realized that he'd have to tell him eventually. "Did I ever tell you why I became a psychologist?"

"No." Booth shook his head.

"When I was 10 years old Gwen was diagnosed as manic depressive, now they call it bi-polar. She's been hospitalized quite a few times. Gwen has been up and down her entire life...I became a psychologist to try and understand her and her illness better - to be able to care for her. She's my older sister but since our parents are gone, she's my responsibility… And I have my suspicions that she's headed for a break."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea." Booth couldn't believe this was the first he was hearing about this.

"Yeah, most people don't get beyond the way she looks and her charisma. You're just lucky you met her during an 'up' swing. I'm a little upset with myself that I just noticed it – she's been here almost 4 days. I should've known something was up before now."

"The important thing is you know now. You can help her now. What are you going to do?"

"Talk to her, find out if she's still seeing her doctor and taking her meds – I guarantee you she's not doing either." Suddenly he looked much older than his 23 years and Booth was concerned – not for Gwen's well being but for Sweets'.

Sweets heard Gwen and Dr. Brennan coming back up the steps. Before he stood to leave, Booth patted him on the back, "If you need anything, anything at all, I'll be around all weekend. I have no plans."

"Thanks." Sweets was grateful that Booth happened to be there for him to talk to.

After Gwen and Sweets had said their good-byes, Booth remained seated at the table. He was thinking about what the young doctor had just told him and how impossible the situation seemed.

"Booth? What was that about?" Brennan asked.

"What?"

"You offering to help Sweets this weekend?"

"Nothing…Do you want to get lunch?"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Once in the car, Sweets turned to Gwen, "Are you still taking your meds?"

Gwen looked out her window, "Why?"

"I didn't pick up on it right away but another job lost, you're up all night, my house is way too clean, rapid speech – you're manic."

"I am not. I'm fine."

"Ok, you're not manic but you're headed there. Again, are you taking your medication?" He asked in a stern voice that surprised him, he didn't know he had that in him.

"No."

Sweets sighed, "Why not, Gwen?"

"I was feeling better and I was so tired of taking all those pills and the blood work for the lithium."

"You know that just because you feel better doesn't mean you are better – it just means that the medication is working."

"I want to be better, Lancer. For good, forever...but I never will, will I?" She asked on the verge of tears.

It broke his heart to answer her, "No, you won't."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Once they arrived back at his apartment, Gwen quickly went to the guest room to take a nap and Sweets tried to figure our what he was going to do about her. He had power of attorney over her, not because he wanted to but because someone had to and with their parents gone the burden fell on him. Truth was, his options were limited. He couldn't make her do anything and as long as she wasn't presenting behavior that proved her to be a danger to herself or anyone else, there was no one that could.

He decided that she at least needed to see a psychiatrist, so she could get back on her medications. He made a few calls, and got her an appointment with a doctor that he had consulted on a case with previously. Dr. Finn wasn't with the bureau but Sweets had found her to be very sharp and intelligent and more than capable, Gwen would see her later that day.

He walked down the hall to the guest room to share this with his sister. He found her lying on the bed face up, staring at the ceiling.

"Gwen, you're going to see Dr. Finn at 4pm today. Do you want to get lunch before or do you want to sleep?"

She sat up, "No, I'm not going to see one of your spook colleagues. I don't need that."

"Dr. Finn isn't with the FBI, she has a private practice. And you're going. There's no room for discussion."

"What are you going to do if I don't go?" She asked like a petulant child.

"I haven't thought that far ahead. I assumed that you've been in this situation enough times that you would do what needed to be done. But then again why would you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You have never had to take responsibility for yourself or your actions. There's always some one there to clean up your mess." He leaned against the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're the one that's always telling me that I have a illness and it's not my fault and that I shouldn't be ashamed of it! But now that I'm threatening to disrupt the perfect life that you have - now it's my fault!"

"You shouldn't be ashamed, Gwen. It's not your fault you're sick but if you're coherent enough to work and to get through daily life you're coherent enough to know what happens when you stop your medicine. My God, Gwen you are 30 years old! You have been dealing with this for 13 years – I have been dealing with this for 13 years!"

"Don't you think I know how long this has been going on? How tired everyone is of it? Don't you think I'm tired of it?"

Sweets face softened, this wasn't how he wanted to handle things with her. Yelling and screaming would fix nothing. "I know you're tired but you can't change it you have to learn to live with it." He moved to sit next to her on the bed.

She laid back down, "What if I don't want to?"

"Then I'll force you to." He didn't mean it as a threat, he meant it more as a promise. "No one's going to hurt you as long as I have a say – not even you. Take a nap, I'll wake you up when it's time to go." He closed the door behind him and made his way back to the couch in the living room.

He could feel the weight of the situation resting heavily on his chest, making it hard for him to breath. _This is my chosen profession_, he thought_, I talk burly men down from ledges and coax them back into the field, I look into the minds of socio_-_paths and figure out what makes them tick… but my big sister? Her I can't reach._ He pulled out a few medical texts regarding affective disorders, bi-polar in particular, and decided to stop feeling sorry for himself and to start trying to help in the best way he knew how - research.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Honestly, what's going on with you and Sweets?" Brennan asked as she sat across from Booth at their usual table in the diner.

He had been debating on whether or not to tell her about Sweets' family problems, he finally decided it wasn't his place. But he figured he had to tell her something or she wouldn't stop badgering him. "Bones, the truth is last night I took Gwen, his sister, out to dinner. I didn't know she was his sister until near the end of the night."

Brennan snorted, "You took Sweets' sister out on a date? And didn't know who she was? And you found out during the date?" She was overcome with laughter, almost in tears.

"Why is that so funny? Do you want me to start in on your dating habits?"

"Because it's Sweets! No one annoys you more than him and the first date you go on in what like a year? It's with his sister!" She was trying to reign in her laughter and to not pull out her cell and call Angela right there and then. "You don't see the comedy in that?"

"I guess if you're on the outside looking in, it might be a little funny." He said with a faint smile.

"Wait, how did you meet her if you didn't meet her through Sweets?" Now that she was over the initial shock that he had taken Sweets' sister out on a date had worn off – she was overcome with the idea that Booth had been on a date at all.

"Oh, I met her on the trail near my place." He said quickly and quietly.

"Since when do you pick up woman at the cross-country trail?" She taunted.

With a strong desire to not continue this line of questioning, Booth shot back, "Since when do you care? And It's a h3ll of a lot better than meeting them on Internet!"

"Actually it's pretty much the same when you really think about it. The men I date that I meet online I, at least know their last names before the date…" She started to laugh, again.

Booth had enough. "You know what? I'm not going to talk to you about this. This conversation is over."


	3. Chapter 3

Sweets sat patiently in the waiting room of Dr. Finn's office. Gwen had been in with the doctor for over an hour. He had talked with the doctor first, giving her a synopsis of Gwen's history.

He was getting restless. He had already read through all the magazines and drug brochures that were spread out across the table in front of him. Then he remembered that he and Dr. Brennan were presenting at Quantico next week and they were going to have to meet to get things together. Quickly, Sweets stood and stepped out of the office to call Dr. Brennan.

"Hi Dr. Brennan, it's Dr. Sweets….thank you, she enjoyed the tour as well, when would be a good time for us to meet about our presentation this weekend?….I have no plans….Saturday night is fine….your apartment…ok….see you then…Bye."

He snapped his phone shut and went back inside where he found Gwen and the doctor in the waiting room.

"Sorry, I had to make a work call. How is everything?"

"Dr. Sweets, I would like to talk with you for a minute."

He followed her into her office and closed the door behind him. "So, what do you think?"

"I want to start her back on the lithium and an anti-depressant today. She says she's only stopped taking them two weeks ago but I suspect it's been longer – a blood test will give us a better idea of when she really stopped."

"Dr. Finn, it's going to be weeks before the medicine can be effective – what do you think is the best course of action as far as keeping her safe?"

"Please Dr. Sweets, call me Samantha or Sam, I would try to get her to stay here with you. She mentioned that she's taken leave from her job and there's not much she needs from her place."

"Of course, I assumed that she'd stay with me anyway. And you can call me Lance." He offered her a weak smile.

"I also would try to not leave her alone too much. When she gets lonely, she gets restless and then she's more likely to do something rash."

"Got it, thank you for seeing her on such short notice." He stood to leave.

"It's not a problem – just consider it a professional courtesy. I want to see her back in a week."

"Ok, thanks again." He headed out to the waiting area where he found Gwen sitting with her arms folded across her chest and she did not look happy.

"Come on, Gwen let's go get your prescriptions filled and head home."

"I don't like her." Gwen announced when they got to the car.

"Why? She's very good."

"She's younger than me! How am I supposed to take advice from someone younger than me?"

"She's very good and age shouldn't matter." He hated it when people assumed that age was a factor in how well some could do their job. "Look, I want you to plan on staying with me for a few weeks – just until you're stable again, ok?"

"Fine." She said sounding defeated.

"What's wrong?"

"I hate this."

"You think I like it?" Sweets knew that she was getting ready to play the blame game and he wasn't in the mood.

"I know you don't but…you're not inside my head – you don't get it."

"Get what Gwen, what don't I get?"

"Any of it." She responded quietly.

"Gwen I became a psychologist so I could understand you better, do you realize that?"

"Yes, I know." She started to cry.

"I was 14, Mom and Dad got that call in the middle of the night. They woke me up and made me get in the car but wouldn't tell me what was going on. We drove all night to get to Duke – to get to you. I remember sitting in the waiting area of the hospital, still not knowing what was going on." Sweets parked the car in front of the pharmacy and wiped away a few stray tears that had started to trickle down his face. "Then when they finally let me see you…I knew the minute I saw you with the bandages…what you had done…and I couldn't imagine what was so awful that would make you do that." He sniffled and looked at his sister.

"It overwhelms me sometimes Lance, I've never really been able to describe it in words, or at least no one's ever understood what I meant before. But it pulls me toward it like a magnet or gravity and I am incapable of stopping it."

"Gwen, I'm here. Hold on to me and it won't be able to pull you away. I'm a lot stronger than I look."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The next evening Sweets was getting ready to head over to Brennan's apartment when he realized that he didn't know how long he would be gone. He was worried about leaving Gwen alone so he called the one person he knew would understand - Booth. He asked the agent if he wouldn't mind stopping by and just checking on Gwen while he was out. Thankfully, Booth was more than happy to help.

"Gwen…" Sweets called to his sister, she came out of her bedroom already in her pajamas. "It's only 7 o'clock – why are you in your pajamas?"

"I'm not going any where so I figured I might as well be comfortable laying on the couch." She responded as she dramatically threw herself on to the couch.

"I'm sorry that I have to go out – if it wasn't for work…"

"Hey, Angel Baby it's ok – I understand."

"Thanks, I don't know how late I'll be. Call my cell if you need anything – anything."

"I'll be fine – I'll probably be asleep in an hour anyway."

"You took your medicine, right?" He hated having to ask but with Gwen you could never be sure.

"Yes, do you want to count the pills?"

"No, I trust you." Truth was, when he got home he had every intention of counting the pills.

"Then go work with the bone lady – I'm fine."

Reluctantly Sweets grabbed his messenger bag and left his sister alone in his apartment.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

An hour later, Sweets was sitting on Brennan's couch going over a stack of professional journals with her. After a long period of silence, Brennan spoke.

"Booth told me about your sister." She said with a smirk.

"Did he?" Sweets wasn't surprised that Booth had shared Gwen's story with Brennan but he was disappointed, he had hoped that Booth would have kept it to himself.

""Yeah, he got pretty mad when I laughed but even you have to admit that the situation is funny.""

"In what way?" Sweets knew that Brennan was slightly inept when it came to social situations but he was shocked that she would find mental illness funny.

"Come on, Booth takes your sister out for a date and doesn't find out who she is until the end of the meal – that's hysterical!" Brennan couldn't stop herself from giggling.

Relieved, Sweets said, "Oh, he told you about that?"

"Yeah he didn't even get her last name before asking her out - I guess now we know that he only does background checks on the people I date and not the people he dates."

"Yeah...Wait, Agent Booth does background checks on the guys you date?"

"Does that surprise you?" She asked.

"No...actually it doesn't. Does it bother you?"

"In the beginning it did but I'm used to it now. Booth means well he's just very protective of the people in his life – it annoyed me before but now I see that as a very admirable trait." She smiled, thinking of her partner's overwhelming need to protect all that he cared for.

"You've learned a great deal from Agent Booth, haven't you?" Sweets asked tentatively, as he was aware that poking around Brennan's mind was not something that she allowed on a regular basis.

"I have – he has this way with people. You've seen him interrogate someone – it's very impressive."

"It is. Can I ask you a personal question about Agent Booth?"

"You can ask but I may not answer." Brennan leaned back into the couch, waiting for his question.

"Why doesn't he date more often? Is there a secret woman in his life?" Sweets was interested in why Booth had chosen to ask Gwen out.

"Not that I know of, Booth believes that his job puts the people in his life in danger so he doesn't date much. So, him asking your sister out means that he must have been-"

"Really attracted to her." Sweets interrupted.

"Yeah…" Brennan said as she stared at her coffee table.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Meanwhile, at Sweets' apartment Gwen was getting restless. There wasn't anything on TV that could hold her interest, the apartment was as clean as she was going to get it so she had started to pace the living room trying to figure out how to calm her mind. Then there was a knock on the door, at first she froze with fear – she didn't know anyone other than her brother in D.C. and she couldn't imagine who would be knocking on his door.

She walked over to the door and called out, "Who is it?"

The response from the other side of the door surprised Gwen, "It's Booth, Gwen. Seeley Booth?"

Opening the door she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I know that your brother is working with Bones tonight and I thought that you could use some company." He said as he walked into the apartment without invitation.

"I was actually getting ready to go to bed."

"It's 8:30 on a Saturday night that is far too early to be going to bed."

"I've had a long day."

"Really?" He said quietly as he took a seat on the couch.

"Yes, Seeley – if I wanted company I would have called you."

"I figured you wouldn't call because I made it clear that we shouldn't see each other again. So, here I am."

She looked at Booth suspiciously, "Did Lance call you?" Gwen was no stranger to her brother's attempts at keeping an eye on her.

"What?" He feigned innocence.

"Come on, I know him and you're not a very convincing liar. How much did he tell you?"

He cleared his throat and looked at her sympathetically, "Not much – enough."

Gwen had never been one to appreciate sympathy from strangers but Booth wore it well, better than most however that didn't stop Gwen from wanting him to leave. "Look, I'm sorry you wasted your Saturday night but I don't need a babysitter. You can go home – I'm fine." She sunk into the couch on the opposite end from him.

"I'm not wasting anything, Gwen. And let's just look at it this way - if in fact you do need a babysitter, your brother got one of the top FBI agents in the country to watch over you." He flashed a high watt smile hoping to lighten her mood.

She eyed him with curiosity "In the country? Really?"

"Really, Bones and I are very good. Hasn't your brother told you about us?"

""He tells me all kinds of stories, but he doesn't ever use names. Now that I've met you I could match you to a few of them. You were with him when April broke up with him, right?" Gwen smiled at him; suddenly she was more than happy that he had been sent to check on her

"Yeah, he made us go to a ceramics class with them and they got into a fight and it was over between them a few days later."

"Ceramics? Lance is such a dork - he'll do anything for a girl."

"In that case we're all dorks." He found himself unsure of what he was doing. Was he there to help Sweets or was he there because he wanted to spend time with Gwen?

"Why are you free on a Saturday night?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why aren't you out doing something?"

Booth shrugged "Work usually keeps me busy. Too busy for a normal social life."

"So that's why your dinner invitation was so –"

"Awkward? Yeah, I don't do it much any more. Not that I ever really dated a lot."

"I find that hard to believe." Gwen was surprised to find that the space between them had shrunk as they both had shifted toward the other.

"I have always been more of a relationship type person."

"Let me guess - religious family?"

"Yeah, my parents are still together. They're getting close to their 50th anniversary."

"Hard to believe people can stay together that long."

"I think it was easier for them, their generation, to stay together."

Gwen thought a minute and then said, "I don't think so. People are people, we've always had the same needs and wants. I think that it's just accepted more now. I think in some circumstances it's almost expected that a marriage will fail."

"Is that why you never got hitched? Didn't want to fail?" He chided.

"No, I never got married because I never thought it was fair. Me, saddling someone with all my issues for the rest of their life…What about you?"

"The only woman I asked turned me down." He said quietly.

"That's shocking!" She said as she lightly smacked him on the arm.

"Why is that shocking?"

"Because…because you're the type of man that we're all looking for but by the time we turn 30 we resolve doesn't really exist. Meeting you is like finding out the Easter Bunny is real."

Booth laughed not only because what she said was ridiculous but because she was so serious about it.

"Real and handsome." She added.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When Sweets returned home after his planning session with Dr. Brennan, he found his sister asleep on the couch next to Booth who was watching Sportscenter.

"Hey, I'm back." He announced as he walked into his living room. "How was she?"

"Fine, she fell asleep about an hour ago. How'd things go with Bones?"

"Good, I think we're going to rock Quantico next week. Speaking of which would you mind-"

"I am more than happy to hang out with Gwen while you guys are gone - I won't be getting much work done with Bones gone anyway."

"Thanks."

"It's really not a problem. Do you want me to help you get her to bed?"

"No, she can walk - thanks for the offer."

Sweets gently tapped her on the shoulder, "Gwen, wake up. Come on. Gwen, hey Gwen."

When his sister couldn't be roused, Booth was quick to step in and pick her up, taking her to bed. Sweets covered her up and the two men headed back to the living room.

"The first couple of days on her meds takes a lot out of her. She gets slightly zombified but it goes away. "

"Sweets, she's really something else. I can't believe... Never mind, what about you - how are you holding up?"

Sweets was intrigued by this new side of Booth that he was seeing, "I'm ok, she saw a new doctor today, she started her medication again and I'm going to try and convince her to move here."

"That's great but I asked about you."

"Me? I'm fine - I've gotten used to this. Taking care of Gwen is what I do."

"There's no one else to help out?"

"No, our Dad died when I was in high school and Mom died when I was in college. It's just us, a few aunts and uncles that we were never close to. I tell myself it won't always be this way that she'll get it together eventually but she's 30. 30 and still doing this."

"So you've denied your own happiness to take care of her - not exactly the healthiest way to live, is it?"

Sweets scoffed, "Like you have room to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You sacrifice a lot for the people in your life."

"Is this a me and Bones thing, 'cause I'm not in the mood." Booth stood, ready to leave.

"She's one part of it but not all of it. This is a topic that we can discuss at a later date - during one of our sessions."

Booth sat back down and looked at Sweets, "Can I ask how bad off Gwen is? I mean here tonight she seemed fine but I know that looks can be deceiving."

"For the most part, Gwen is fine. As long as she stays on her meds and gets the right amount of sleep and takes care of herself she's as stable as you or I but when she stops …when she stops all hell can break lose."

Booth sat quietly and mulled over Sweets' words before asking, "In what way?"

"Agent Booth, I know that you have a firm enough grasp on general psychology to know what happens when someone becomes manic."

"Yeah, but Gwen she seems…I mean she doesn't seem to… you know what, you're the expert and she's your sister, I'm going to keep out of it."

"No, I appreciate your concern. She is fairly stable right now but in the past…in the past that hasn't always been the case." Sweets wasn't sure if he should tell Booth more but the agent was sitting there with genuine concern in his eyes so he figured he would unload on him. "The truth is...G-Gwen has attempted suicide twice, once when I was 14 and again when I was 17....both times it was a direct result of her terminating her treatment."

An image of a scar flashed in Booth's mind, Gwen had 3-4 inch scar that ran up her inner forearm. He hadn't thought much of it before since his own body was riddled with scars itself. He ran his hand down his own arm.

Seeing Booth's movements Sweets responded, "Yeah, the first time she slit her wrist, the second time she tried to overdose on her medication – luckily each time someone found her before it was too late. It's been 6 years since her last attempt so I'm hoping that her age and experience outweigh her desperation."

"I'm sorry, Sweets."

"For what? Gwen? I love my sister, Agent Booth, and I live with her pain everyday, even when she's not here. I can't change that so I have learned to adapt. I had to learn to adapt." Sweets did not want to show any weakness in front of Booth but he couldn't stop his eyes from tearing up. Much to his surprise Booth patted him on the back and looked at him not in judgment but with empathy. Sweets would never be able to explain exactly how much that small gesture meant to him.

"I'm sorry that you have to deal with this alone – I'd like to help, as much as I can." Booth stood and jammed his hands in his pockets. "I like Gwen, she's…" Booth sighed, "She's different – you know how great she is, she's _your_ sister.

"Thank you for the offer, Agent Booth... I didn't tell Dr. Brennan about Gwen's condition, but if you want to, I'm ok with that. I know she's the one you talk to about…I guess everything."

"Yeah, that's about right. It's late and I need to pick Parker up early for church tomorrow. See you Monday?"

"Yes, Dr. Brennan and I are going to drive together so I can drop Gwen off at your office or you could meet us at the museum."

Booth laughed lightly, "Look, she already feels like she's being babysat, you dropping her off somewhere is not going to make the situation any better. How about I just swing by here once I know you've left."

"That works too. Thanks again, Agent Booth."

"Sweets, I think we've known each other long enough that you can start calling me Booth instead of Agent Booth all the time." He smiled and made his way out of the apartment.

As Booth left, Sweets couldn't believe that the agent had suddenly become his one-man support system.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

On the way home Booth realized that it was nearly midnight, past the time to he normally called Brennan. Since Booth's shooting the previous year, they had made it a habit to speak at the end of any day they didn't see each other. He reached for his phone and hit #1 on his speed dial.

"Hey Bones…Mind if I stop by?"

15 minutes later Booth was knocking on Brennan's door.

"Why are you still up?" Booth asked as he entered her living room. "And ironing this late?"

"Sweets just left and I'm meeting Kyle tomorrow for an early lunch."

"Isn't that brunch?"

Shooting him a questioning look, Brennan responded, "I suppose."

Booth started to leaf through the paperwork from her meeting with Sweets. "Sweets didn't just leave. You were sitting up waiting up for my call, weren't you?"

"I was not - how do you know when Sweets left?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk with you about. His sister Gwen-"

Cutting him off, Brennan asked with a smirk, "The one you took out?"

"Yeah, she's going to be around for awhile-"

Again cutting him off she asked, "And you want to know if it's ok to date her?"

"No, Can I finish or do you want to interrupt me again?"

"I'm good, go ahead." She waved her hand, urging him to continue.

"I wanted to give you fair warning that Sweets may be a little preoccupied for the next few weeks. Gwen is sick and she stopped taking her medication about a month ago. But she's staying with Sweets now and today she started her medication again and she should be fine but he is very worried about her, so be nice while you guys are driving back and forth this week."

"Nice? I'm always nice to him. You're the one that gives him such a hard time. Speaking of which how do you know all of this?"

"Sweets told me."

"But, how did you know he and I were riding together to Quantico and what time he left my apartment tonight? Did he call you as soon as he left here?"

"No…if you must know I was at his apartment keeping an eye on Gwen for him."

"For him, huh?" Brennan took a seat in the chair opposite Booth, she may not be the expert people reader that Booth was but she definitely knew when he was trying to hide something from her.

"Yeah, he called me and asked if I would swing by while he was here with you."

"What kind of illness does she have that she can't be along for a few hours?"

Staring at the ground and then looking back up at Brennan, he said quietly, " She's bipolar, Bones."

That was the last thing she expected to hear. "Really?"

"Yeah, she was diagnosed when Sweets was 10 - she's actually the reason he became a psychologist." Booth then filled her in on the rest of Gwen's past.

Brennan sighed, taking in everything Booth had told her. "She seemed so normal today in the lab."

"She is normal, bipolar is as treatable as diabetes. The way Sweets tells it, as long as she stays on her meds she's stable."

Brennan listened to the calm and optimistic way in which he spoke of the situation. She grinned, "You're really attracted to her, aren't you?"

"No, well yes I am attracted to her but I know that dating her is out of the question. At least for now…" he trailed off.

"At least for now? Booth, you can't fix her."

"I know that Bones, trust me I know"

"I think you have a savior complex."

"A what?"

"A savior complex – someone who sees fit to save people from physical and emotional danger even if that person doesn't want to be saved."

"Says the woman who doesn't believe in psychology and whose life I have saved many times!"

"Booth, I just don't want to see you get hurt."

He sighed, "I know, neither do I. I'm just helping Sweets." Booth stood and looked at his watch, "I've got to get going, I have early mass tomorrow with Parker - have fun with Kyle tomorrow."

" I will."

"He's alright by the way. I checked him out." He said under his breath.

"Booth, you promised no more background checks! I can take care of myself."

"I know, but you're my partner - do you have any idea how much paperwork I would have to do if something happened to you?" He ducked the book she playfully tossed in his general direction and shut the door, while laughing, on his way out.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days passed without incident. Sweets and Brennan spent all day Monday and Tuesday teaching a class at Quantico and Booth spent the two days getting to know Gwen better. The first day they just wandered around the city, hitting all the tourist spots and on the second day Angela gave them a personal tour of the Jeffersonian. Booth found himself recklessly attracted to Gwen.

His better judgment was screaming at him to back away and not get attached to her but every other part of him was over riding his better judgment. He liked her, he liked being around her and that spoke volumes because Booth was a man who, for the most part enjoyed being alone. Gwen fascinated him, she would tell stories about growing up with Sweets and he would find himself completely captivated by every word she said. Stories about Sweets were not something he was interested in but she had a way about her… It was her eyes he decided, they were the color of a Heineken bottle and he had a very difficult time not staring into them.

Tuesday evening, Booth and Gwen were sitting in the diner waiting for Brennan and Sweets to meet them for dinner. "I have a question for you about your brother."

"Seel, I don't know why his mouth doesn't close all the way – Mom and Dad spent a fortune on his teeth and he still walks around with his mouth partially open all the time!"

"That will come in handy someday thanks for that. But I was going to ask when he gained the confidence he has now."

"Confidence? Lance?"

"Yeah, I know that he's jumpy around me but for the most part, he's not afraid to put himself out there, say goofy things and just revel in who he is and I admire that." He leaned forward and whispered, "Don't ever tell him I said that." He was less than an inch away from kissing her when she pulled back.

"I guess with Lance, once he got to college and was surrounded by other geniuses he started to thrive. I love my little brother and I'm glad that he's still goofy and silly. And apparently very good at his job." She noticed the look of defeat on Booth's face from her pulling away from his almost kiss. "And Seeley, I would love nothing more than to kiss you right now but they're due here any minute and I don't need a lecture about being irresponsible from my brother."

"I feel slightly better about being denied." He smiled when he felt her press her calf against his under the table.

"See, I'm behaving, not being impulsive. Make sure you tell Lance that." She leaned back in her chair and pulled her long black hair into a bun-type thing on the top of her head. She looked relaxed, content. She looked like what Booth had been missing for so long. "Honestly with Lance, he had to grow up pretty quick. Having me as an older sister wasn't always fun. I know he told you about my…my attempts."

Booth nodded and found himself staring at the scar on her arm.

"He was 14 the first time, I had been at Duke studying botany and after that…I was brought home to Freehold in Jersey? Poor Lance, I was the first person he looked for in the morning and when he got home from school he would run around looking for me. He was scared that-"

"That you'd try again."

"Yeah, he finally let up after a month or two. But he has called me everyday since then – that was almost 10 years ago and I talk to him everyday. No exceptions."

"Kind of like me and Bones. We talk every day whether we have a case or not – it's a habit and it's nice to know that someone in the world is worried about where you are and how your day was."

"Can I ask about you and Dr, Brennan - what's that situation?

He sighed heavily, "I'm not going to lie to you, it's complicated,"

"How so?"

"Our lives are completely intertwined I'm talking work, family, friends, holidays. We've never been anything more than friends and partners but I am very committed to her."

"That's sweet."

"You think that's a good thing?"

"Having someone you can depend on and lean on – everyone deserves that. Oh look, here they come."

Booth turned to see Brennan and Sweets in the middle of a very heated discussion. It was so heated that they took one look at him and Gwen and stopped at the counter to finish it before sitting down. "Hey guys, how was it?"

"Dr. Brennan rocked the house."

"There wasn't a house – one of the guys challenged me that I couldn't finish the obstacle course so I had to-"

"Prove him wrong, I know Bones. How far did you get?" Booth stirred his coffee thankful that there was something to take the focus off of him and Gwen.

Brennan sat straight up with pride, "I finished the course. Sweets is right – I rocked."

Booth couldn't help but grin at his partner – she never failed to amaze him. "That's impressive, that's a tough course."

"Have you finished it?" Brennan teasingly asked Booth.

"Yes, I actually was top in my class."

Sweets shook his head "Of course you were." Turning his attention to his sister, "What did you do today?"

"Angela took us on a guided tour of the museum – she's a riot. You need to do a study on her and that gutter mind of hers. She's fantastic, really."

"What was your favorite part of the museum?" Brennan asked.

Gwen looked at Booth, she had spent the entire day with him and didn't remember anything specific about the museum. "Ah, I loved the first lady exhibit and of course the rare jewelry." She remembered them because it was the one time Booth had left her alone to take a phone call.

Sweets' gaze never left his sister – he saw the look she gave Booth. If she had spent the day with any other guy he'd be worried that they would take advantage of her impulsive behavior but he knew she was safe with Booth. He quietly asked her about her medicine and she whispered in a sinister tone "I took it and I would appreciate you asking me those things in private."

"I'm sorry, Gwen. I forgot. These two are like family I forget that…you know. Are you ready to go home? I'm exhausted." Sweets stood and yawned

Gwen had hoped that Booth would be taking her home and by the look on his face so had he. She stood and gave Booth a hug, a hug that lasted a little too long. When he pulled away from her he looked into her grass green eyes and realized that he had to see her again and soon. "Hey tomorrow night Hodgins is having a '10 days without a murder' party – you should come."

"Yeah, I hear that's a record since you've been with the museum, Booth?" Sweets asked.

"Yup – 10 whole days without a case. I'm bored." He turned to look at Brennan who was scowling in his direction. "Want a ride, Bones?"

"Sure – my car is at the museum."

When Booth and Brennan had said their good-byes to the Sweets siblings Brennan looked at Booth, "Booth you can't…I saw the way you looked at her – she's sick."

"Bones, I can't not…I'm a man with great self-control and will-power but with her I…"

"Be careful – she's fragile and you are very…never mind. Can we go?"

"I'm very what?"

"You don't pay attention to a lot of women so I have to assume that when you do you really like them."

He sighed and grumbled something under his breath as he climbed into the SUV. "What were you and Sweets talking about when you came into the diner."

"You don't want to know."

"Bones...I want to know."

"Fine, we were discussing you and Gwen and how it seems like such a bad idea on paper but when you see the two of you together - it's good. But wrong 'cause she..."

"I know why it's wrong, Bones. I got it."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Once they returned home, Gwen and Sweets lounged on the couch, discussing their days.

"Lance, I know that going to that 'no new dead people' party is a bad idea but if you want to go - I'll be ok for a few hours."

"Gwen, I'm impressed that you recognize that it's a bad idea."

"I know the drill Lance, I'm just starting treatment and I shouldn't...I like Seeley and spending more time with him regardless of how much I want to, is not in anyone's best interest….Lance I hate this..." She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you remember when Mom and Dad took us to see the Rolling Stones?"

"Yeah, I was 9, no 10 and had no clue who they were."

"Do you remember the song that you walked around singing for days after?"

"Beast of Burden but I thought it was Big Suburban." He laughed, finally a good memory to look back on. "Even now, I sing my version."

"That song plays in my head daily - it's the soundtrack of my life. I've always been looking for someone to absorb all this pain, but I'm learning that I need to do it on my own."

"I'm here and I'm trying to help as much as I can, but you're right you have to make the biggest changes…You are right about not seeing Booth - you need to focus on you right now...The ironic thing is Booth would actually be a good match for you if you weren't-"

"Crazy?"

"You're not crazy - I was going to say unbalanced."

"Fancy way of saying crazy."

"We're gonna get you stable."

"I feel pretty good now - I know the meds haven't kicked in yet but just being here, with you, I feel better. I feel safe. I don't do well alone."

"You never have. You've always wanted your space but you also wanted someone within shouting distance."

"My cake and eating it. I never found anyone, roommate or boyfriend, who could give me that. It was always too much or not enough."

"How have I been doing this week?"

"Better than I anticipated."

"Good but then I've been busy and not around a lot. This week should be different."

Gwen stood and headed into the kitchen, when she came back with pills and water in hand, she glanced at her little brother, who she realized looked far older than his 23 years. She apologetically said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Don't think I'm not aware that you're life's been on hold since Mom died. You deserve more - you deserve to be able to do whatever you want without worrying about me."

"I do worry about you Gwen but in case you haven't noticed - I've got an awesome job. Seriously, I love it and it keeps me busy, the longer you're here you'll see. The people I work with Dr. Brennan and Booth and the rest of the team at the Jeffersonian none of them lead 'normal' lives they can't - they deal with the horrific and absurd daily."

"I'm glad to see that you're not wasting that brilliant mind. Dad would be thrilled to see you working for the FBI – catching serial killers."

"You think? I always thought he wanted me to be a lawyer."

"Nah – he just wanted you to be happy."

He watched her dutifully take her pills and he felt a slight twinge of hope – this time she just might make it. "I was thinking that you might want to start doing some things to keep you busy."

"Like what?"

"You could start riding again, there's a stable not too far out of town. You have to miss it, don't you?"

"I miss Hemingway – I loved that horse. It broke my heart when we had to put him down." There were tears in her eyes as she thought back to the horse that was her 14th birthday present. For 7 years Hemingway was her best friend and confidant. They had competed all over the country and if Gwen hadn't gotten sick they may have made it to the Olympics.

"I also thought that you might want to start freelancing or maybe take the money that Grandmother left and start your own jewelry line."

"That all sounds great but overwhelming." She yawned and stretched.

"You don't have to do it all at once – just a few things for you to think about."

"I will, all that walking at the museum today wore me out, I'm going to head to bed."

She leaned over the couch and kissed him on the top of his head, "G'night Angel Baby – I love you."

"Night Gwen, breakfast in the morning? My first appointment isn't until 9:30 so you won't have to get up too early."

"Sounds good." She started to walk toward the guest room which was slowly becoming her room.

"I love you, too Gwen." Sweets called to her before she closed the door.

Sweets was too wired to sleep so he decided to go over his case files for his sessions tomorrow but he found himself focused on Gwen and Booth. He saw the attraction between them but Gwen openly admitted that she knew starting a relationship was a bad idea, he just hoped that Booth had come to the same conclusion.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The next morning Sweets and Gwen stopped in the diner for breakfast, Sweets was surprised to find Brennan and Booth already there. He tried to avoid eye contact but the ever-vigilant Booth saw them and waved them over to their table.

"Hey guys, I didn't know you came in for breakfast."

"Sweets, it's a 24 hour diner you can't name a time of day that we haven't been in here." Booth was trying to be cordial but it came off as snotty.

Brennan smiled, "Excuse him, Gwen. Booth is always grumpy in the morning, do you two want to join us?"

"Sure, why not?" Sweets responded, his plan to keep his sister and Booth separate wasn't going as well as he had hoped.

"Gwen, what are you doing today while your brother is at work?" Brennan was trying to be polite but more importantly she was trying to get a read on what Booth found so fascinating about this woman.

"I'm going to go to work with Lance this morning and then this afternoon I have a conference call with my boss. I'm going to try and do some freelance work while I'm here in DC."

"You design jewelry, correct?"

"Yes, luckily I can sketch anywhere and they can send me samples to work with. Not as heroic or world-changing as the work you guys do but I enjoy it." Gwen was nervous sitting at the table across from Booth and she was not a woman to ever be nervous.

'Sweets, can we reschedule our meeting for Friday? I'm meeting an Army buddy in Annapolis for the weekend and I wanted to get a jump on traffic." Booth asked without looking up from his coffee.

"That's fine – we can do it earlier in the day or on Monday."

"Bones?" Booth referred to her to reschedule."

"Monday works for me."

"So, Seeley you were in the Army – Desert Storm or-"

Cutting her off, "Kosovo, I served in Kosovo." He said quickly. Brennan and Sweets exchanged a look of shock that he even gave up that much – he never talked about his time in the military.

Tilting her head, trying to get a read on the agent, Gwen asked, "Do you ever wish you died in the war?"

Sweets was horrified with his sister's blunt question, "Gwen, that is totally inappro-"

"Actually, Sweets that's an interesting question. Can you be more specific?" Booth was intrigued by her question.

"You were in the Army, you work for the FBI - both dangerous jobs that put you in mortal danger. Wouldn't you rather have died in a war, serving your country, instead of being shot by some serial killer?"

"I suppose...I never really thought about it - in that way."

Brennan was uncomfortable – even she didn't discuss this with Booth. Maybe because she witnessed him being shot not that long ago.

"Will you be buried at Arlington?"

The look of concern on Brennan's face was not lost on Booth he glanced at her and then back to Gwen "Uh...I am eligible and Arlington is an honor but I would want to be where my family wanted me. At the end, that's what matters."

She leaned in with one shoulder and nodded in agreement, "I understand, you're how old? 36?"

"Yeah"

"So, you've spent nearly half your life serving this country in some form or another?"

With darkened eyes, he leaned in and nodded 'yes'.

"And the plan is that hopefully at the end of your life they'll be a wife and kids that you will have spent a greater portion of your life serving?"

For some reason he found himself grinning at her, "That's the plan..."

Gwen smiled "It's a good plan."

"I'm glad you approve." He stared at her trying to figure her out – she was unlike anyone he had ever come up against.

Brennan and Sweets sat with mouths open – unable to comprehend the conversation that had just taken place. They both made mental notes to discuss this further with Booth.

"Gwen, it was good to see you again but Bones and I have to get to the lab. See you tonight at Hodgins'?" He stood to leave and was surprised when Gwen stood as well.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." She motioned with her head to step outside with him.

As her partner and her therapist's sister walked away, Brennan asked, "What was that about?"

"Which part? Gwen has always been weird and morbid but that came out of nowhere, huh?" Sweets was embarrassed by his sister's behavior.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Brennan asked without taking her eyes off of her partner who was standing on the sidewalk outside the diner with Gwen.

"I'm sure Gwen is telling him that she can't see him – that it's not a good time in her life."

Brennan frowned, "That's too bad."

"Why?" Of all people, Sweets thought she would be relieved.

"Booth seems to really like her, you saw the way he smiled when she sat down and how he just opened right up to her. He deserves someone who makes him smile instead of him always making the other person smile."

"Dr. Brennan, you have to know that my sister is almost always on the verge of catastrophe. She hasn't been completely stable since she learned to drive. Distress swirls around her."

"And Booth is always looking for someone to save." Brennan said quietly.

"Really, they're a match made in co-dependent heaven. But that's not healthy."

"I know you're right but this is rare for him…"

Brennan saw Booth give Gwen a hug and a kiss on the cheek before getting in the SUV. She saw that as her cue to leave. She passed Gwen on her way out and gave her a nervous smile. She could tell by the look on her face that the talk she had with Booth wasn't a happy one.

As Gwen headed back to her brother to fill him in on their discussion, Brennan headed to the SUV to get the same information from Booth.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

After joining her partner in the SUV, Brennan waited a few minutes, hoping that Booth would volunteer what he and Gwen had talked about. When he didn't, Brennan had to ask.

"What did Gwen have to say?"

Booth clenched his jaw and then loosened it. He sighed, "Nothing I didn't already know, that we shouldn't see each other anymore, since she's just starting her treatment again. That along with uprooting her life and moving in with her brother – she doesn't think that it would be fair to me."

"You already knew that – didn't you?"

He nodded, "I did, but then she said that she doesn't think I could handle what may come. That she'd ruin my life."

"I'm sorry, Booth." Brennan really meant that, she could see how upset he was.

"What I don't get is, how does she or anyone else know what I can handle? How does she know that she'd ruin my life? What if she's the one thing my life has been lacking?" The question was purely rhetorical and for once Brennan got that.

Brennan knew Booth well enough to know that he rarely didn't get what he wanted and she suspected that he saw Gwen's illness and the unknown variables it could present as merely a challenge. One of the things she loved most about him was he never backed down from a challenge. "What are you going to do?"

"Give her time…give her space – but also make sure she knows I'm still around. And maybe I'll talk to my therapist about it." He grunned.

Brennan looked at him and couldn't help but chuckle – when he had a target in his sights, he was a force to be reckoned with. She realized that was probably the reason he was such a good sniper. She thought to mention that fact to him but decided it was best to keep it to herself.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Back at the diner, Sweets and Gwen were having the same conversation.

"What did you tell him?" Sweets asked, hoping that she told him the truth.

Gwen sighed, "I told Seeley that with my new treatment and moving in with you, starting something with him wouldn't be fair to either of us and that he didn't know how bad things could get with me."

"How'd he take it?"

"Ok, I guess. He said that I didn't know him very well but if I did I'd know that he could handle just about anything that was thrown at him."

"He's right. Agent Booth is very intelligent and highly adaptable. He's also very intuitive – he would have made a great psychologist." Sweets paused, "Don't ever tell him or anyone that I said that about him. But it's all true."

"Lance, I've known him for a week. Why do I feel like this is such a big loss? I've walked away from full-blown relationships, men that I lived with and had less regret than I feel right now." Gwen had tears in her eyes and all Sweets wanted to do was to make them go away.

"Because Booth is a good man and you can see that and not knowing what could be is the worst thing in the world for you….Gwen, give it a month or so, ok? Then talk to Dr. Finn about she thinks about your progress and go from there."

"What do you think?" She was pleading with her eyes for him to tell her what to do.

"I'm not your therapist, I'm your brother and I want you to be happy – that's all I've ever wanted. I'll stand by you, regardless of what you decide to do but only if you take a month and get yourself together. Is that a deal?"

"I guess."

" Trust me, a month will go by much faster than you can imagine. Come on. I've got patients to see."


	5. Chapter 5

After 5 weeks, Gwen had started to feel like a prisoner in her brother's home. She spent the bulk of her time working on new jewelry designs and watching more television than could ever be considered healthy. The only time she left the apartment, with the exception of meals out with Lance, was to go to the doctor.

Sweets had told her to wait a month before making any major decisions about her future and even then to discuss her progress with her doctor. After a successful appointment with Dr. Finn, the doctor assessed that Gwen was responding well to her medication and was becoming well adjusted to her new environment. Dr. Finn saw no reason for Gwen to not start living a normal life as long as she remembered that feeling better didn't mean that she could stop taking her medication or stop attending her appointments.

Overjoyed with her new prognosis, Gwen didn't want to wait until Lance got home that night to share her good news. Leaving Dr. Finn's she headed straight for Lance's office. After passing through security and making her way to Sweets' floor, Gwen saw a man walking toward her with an unmistakable swagger in his step and her stomach fell to the floor. "Seeley" she said just above a whisper.

Booth had been busy for the past month, he and Brennan had spent nearly 3 weeks in Idaho investigating remains that were thought to be related to a murder spree 20 years previous. Out of sight didn't mean out of mind for Booth when it came to Gwen. He didn't ever mention her but, Brennan knew that when he was staring at nothing in particular Gwen was on his mind. He resisted the urges the to call Sweets for updates on her but the young doctor was kind enough to keep Booth informed under the guise of checking on the partners while they were out of town.

Booth had stopped in to pick up a file from Sweets that needed to be taken to Brennan's brain trust. He was lost in his own thoughts, walking down the hall, when he saw her. He had forgotten how inconveniently beautiful she was with her jet-black hair and emerald eyes. 5 weeks had done little to sway his attraction or interest in her, if anything it only made him want her more. Seeing her, unexpectedly in his building, forced Booth to stop in his tracks and all he could do was whisper, "Gwen."

Booth realized that it had been over a month since he saw Gwen - a month was the amount of time that Sweets had asked him to step back and give to Gwen. Taking a deep breath he mustered all the courage he had and walked up to her..

"Gwen, how are you?"

"Good, you?"

Feeling like he was in 8th grade again, Booth ran his hand through his hair quickly and blurted out, "It's been a month - can I ask you out yet?"

"Seeley, you could have asked me out at any time but now is a better time. Are you asking me out?"

"I am if you want me to..." Booth was nervous - why he didn't know.

"I do. Tonight? 7? Pick me up?" Gwen could tell that he was nervous so she thought she would help him along.

He smiled, it was the smile that made good girls want to do bad things and it was not lost on Gwen. "That all sounds great, I'll see you then." Gwen started to walk toward Sweets' office and Booth watched her the entire way. Wondering if he had asked her out or if it was the other way around. Shaking his head, he turned and headed to the lab. Walking with a little extra swagger in his step.

Gwen made her way to her brother's office and dramatically hopped up onto his desk. "Guess what?" she asked breathlessly.

"You just saw Booth leaving here?" Sweets asked not amused.

"That and Dr. Finn said that she saw no reason why I can't start living a normal life. That's good news right?"

"That's excellent, Gwen. I'm thrilled now you know that this doesn't mean-"

"That I can stop my meds or therapy - I know Angel Baby. I know."

Relieved, Sweets looked up at her "Good, what do you want to do for dinner tonight?"

"I have plans." She grinned.

"Really, Gwen - with who? Booth already?"

"I just happened to see him and he asked so, yes."

Sweets sat forward, "Gwen, we have to talk ..."

"No, Lance." Gwen stood to leave but he caught her by the arm before she could get out the door.

"Gwen, I know that I told you to wait a month and that I would support any decision you made but I still think this is a bad idea."

"Why? You yourself have said time and time again how great Seeley is. How he's a good man and all the rest – why is this a bad idea?"

Sweets didn't have the heart to tell his own sister that it was a bad idea because he thought Booth shouldn't have to deal with Gwen's issues. That Booth deserved more. Not better, just more. That in the end Gwen would only hurt Booth. So, he lied, "I don't think that enough time has passed. I was wrong, a month wasn't long enough."

"Lance, you promised." Gwen's lip quivered and Sweets gave in.

"You're right, I did promise and even though I don't agree, I'll support you." Gwen turned to him and fell into a hug.

Sweets thought that maybe if he couldn't convince Gwen that this was a bad idea maybe he'd have a better shot with Booth.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Later that day, Sweets caught up with Booth in his office. He walked into the agent's office, not as a scared therapist but as a protective brother and friend.

"Hey." He raised a hand and took a seat.

"What's up Sweets?" Booth was in a hurry to get his desk cleared for the day – he wanted to be out of the office on time for a change.

"I don't think that you should see Gwen, tonight or any night for that matter."

This stopped Booth from shuffling folders and to focus solely on Sweets, "Why? Am I not good enough for your sister?"

"No, I mean, no that's not the reason. You are more than good enough for her." Sweets sighed, wishing he had written down what he wanted to say. "I am in no way, shape, or form an authority figure in either of your lives but I know Gwen and I know you. Gwen may be getting better but she still might self-destruct – it's a toss up right now. But you, you'll break your neck trying to keep her in one piece and that's no way to live. Trust me – I've been doing it for years."

"Sweets, I appreciate that she's your sister and you know her better than me but I can't deny how I feel. When I see her I just…" he trailed off, sure that the young doctor didn't need to know the thoughts that he had about Gwen.

"Not to sound like an 8th grade girl but do you think she doesn't like me?" Booth asked quietly

Sweets laughed at the agent's awkward question, "She likes you, really she does. Gwen hasn't had the best luck with relationships – they either smother her or she feels ignored. It's a fine line you have to walk with her. She's a maddening woman."

Booth scoffed, "Excuse me, have you forgotten who I am? I work with Temperance Brennan. Bones? You've seen the miracles I am capable of." He grinned and stood to leave. " Look Sweets, I respect that you're worried about your sister but I promise that I'll take good care of her."

"I'm not worried about her – I'm worried about you. She can be destructive and life-disrupting. I would hate to see you go through that." Sweets swallowed hard and stood to face Booth.

"I'm made of some pretty tough stuff – I've seen the worst the world has to offer and I'm still standing. Thanks for the concern, really." Booth was sincere he did appreciate Sweets' concern but the truth was there wasn't anything that was going to stop the agent from keeping his date tonight. "I may end up regretting not taking your advice but I know I'll regret it more if I don't find out for myself." Booth patted Sweets on the back and left him standing alone.

"I'm a trained psychologist and no one listens to me." Sweets muttered to himself as he walked back to his own office.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Dinner was nearly perfect, Gwen was stunning and funny and looked at Booth in a way that he had not been looked at in a very long time. Not only was she interested in him, she hadn't heard his stories a million times before. There was no anxiety or nervous energy - they just fit.

Talking with Seeley over dinner, Gwen realized that being bored out of her mind for the past month, while taking care of her mental health was well worth it. He was everything she remembered him to be and did not fall short of the expectations she had built up in her mind during her little dating sabbatical.

Walking Gwen to her front door after dinner, Booth realized that he had no interest in their date ending. Stopping just before Sweet's door, knowing that they were out of the visual line of the peephole, he looked at her and asked, "I-I'd love to see you again, soon - tomorrow? Is that too soon?" She could tell by the look in his eyes that he hadn't been here in a very long time.

She smiled, the cocky FBI agent that had picked her up that evening had been replaced by an anxious schoolboy. "The sooner the better. My schedule is pretty open so..."

"Unless something comes up, with work, I'll pick you up at 7?" he asked full of hope.

"I'll be here."

"Good to know," he said as he pulled her into an embrace. He held her there probably too long, he feared he made her uncomfortable as they pulled away. Gwen was confused by what she was feeling in his arms. She felt the kind of safety that she hadn't felt in a long time, safety, that part of her thought no longer existed. As they parted she looked at Booth, her eyes piercing his own. He thought he might have seen a signal in her eyes, telling him it was ok to kiss her. Before double-checking, to make sure that she had in fact given him a signal, his lips were on hers and to his overwhelming delight, she was kissing him back.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Sitting at dinner on their third official date, Booth was telling Gwen about some of the more colorful cases that he and Brennan had come across.

"You guys share something amazing don't you? How do you really feel about her?"

In order to not answer her he asked, "Come on Gwen, you know all about psychology, what do you think?"

"I think you love her - that's what I think." She said with a grin, she wasn't accusing him she was simply making a statement.

Booth was shocked at her candor. He thought long and hard before he responded to Gwen, he knew that the next words he spoke could determine whether or not he would sleep alone that night. He decided to tell her the truth, against his libido's objections, "I do love Bones. If we had met a different way or at a different time in our lives things might have worked between us. We've been through so much together not just as partners but as friends - best friends. I can't deny the fact that as long as she and I are partners anyone else in my life will at times have to take a back seat to her." Booth exhaled deeply, he was surprised at his own honesty.

"So, any relationship you have is like an affair?"

"In a way, yes." Booth was almost ashamed to admit it.

"That's understandable, it's not ideal but I understand it."

"Not the healthiest way to live, huh?"

"Who am I to judge? Seeley, I think the commitment you have with Dr. Brennan is one of the things that makes you so different from the rest. It's a good thing."

"Most women don't hang around for too long after they figure out where Bones ranks in my life."

Gwen leaned toward him and said, "I can handle sharing you but I can't handle you sharing your bed with someone other than me."

He leaned across the table, making sure that he had her full attention, "I can assure you that you would be the only one."

Walking up to his house after dinner, Gwen spun around quickly and leaned up to kiss Booth before he had the chance to react. She pressed her lips firmly to his and ran her tongue over his bottom lip, asking for entrance, which he granted immediately. As they stood there in the dim light of his front step, the kiss grew deeper and hands began exploring, her hand gently traced the side of his face and down his chest as his caressed her back and moved up her ribs.

His hands were fierce and demanding as they slid up her torso. And then he slowed down a bit, not wanting to hurt her. He just couldn't control himself, he had wanted this for so long, since the day he met her.

She could see the lust in his eyes as he stared at her, knowing the same lust was evident in her own eyes. He let out a sigh, slowly lifting his head to look at her, gazing into those green eyes that were much darker then they were just five minutes ago. He knew his were dark too; dark with desire, with need, with lust, with wanting. All of these things that he knew they were written clear across his face. Clear enough for her to see.

After fumbling for several minutes, not wanting to take his attention away from Gwen, his key finally found the door's lock and he slowly walked her back into his house.

Without turning on a light, without a sound, he pulled on the tall neck of her sweater allowing him to kiss her neck and move his way back to her mouth. They said nothing, there was nothing to say as their bodies were saying it all. Suddenly he broke their kiss and turned from her, she whimpered as if he had just taken away her favorite toy. He walked back across the room and turned the lock on the door and took his gun from its holster and his cell phone out of his pocket and placed them on the table.

The look on his face told her that things were about to get a whole lot more fun. He returned to her and kissed her gently as he allowed his hands to find the bottom of her sweater and began to lift it over her head. He kissed her stomach and up to her satin and lace bra allowing his fingertips to explore what was hidden beneath. Gwen sighed with pleasure. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt and then forcibly pushed it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.

Before Gwen knew what was happening he grabbed her and turned her around pulling her back flush to his front. He lifted her long dark hair and kissed her neck. Moving his lips down her back before turning her around to face him again.

He looked her over and whispered, "My God, you are beautiful."

She responded with a sly grin, "You're not so bad yourself."

And with that, they ended up backing their way to Booth's bed. Gwen fell onto the bed beneath Booth's hard body. "I want..." he said, unable to finish his thought, his voice hoarse with need and desire. He yanked his t-shirt over his head and kissed her deeply while growling into the back of her throat. She took in his broad shoulders and greedily ran her hands over his back and raked her nails across his near perfect chest. As Booth hovered over her, he realized how much he had needed this. The warmth and touch of a woman. A woman like Gwen who was accepting, beautiful and fully responsive to each and every one of his touches.

They each anticipated and met the other's needs and wants without prompting. It was the first time that Gwen felt satisfied and secure during a first time with any man and the first time that Booth hadn't been overcome with some form of guilt after making love to a woman he wasn't in love with. He simply felt warm and content - like a man who had found where he belonged after too many years of searching.

Later Gwen slept, and as he ran his hand back and forth across the bumps of her naked spine, Booth was reminded of rosary beads and of all the sins he had committed. Sins he would eventually have to confess to Gwen if he had any hope for a future. And then it occurred to him - he truly did hope for a future with her and he wasn't scared by it at all.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The next morning Booth was sitting in Brennan's office, waiting for her to get her notes together for court that day when Sweets came bursting through the door. The partners spun around to see their therapist's face, three shades of red.

"Gwen didn't come home last night." Sweets announced to anyone within 20 feet.

With those words, Booth was on his feet, leading the young doctor out of Brennan's office and down a vacant hallway. "I would appreciate it if you didn't come busting in here announcing to the world who spent the night with me or where anyone slept last night for that matter."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't…" Sweets couldn't finish the sentence he had been rehearsing since 3am when he realized that Gwen wasn't going to be coming home before dawn. He had sat up most the night, first keeping him self busy with work then with worry. Sweets had prepared a dozen different threats he was going to offer the agent but standing with him, in the dimly lit hallway all his bluster was gone.

"Gwen's fine, really." Booth said as quietly and calmly as he could. "She's home now – I promise. I dropped her off there a little over an hour ago. Maybe she should've called you but she's 30, Sweets. And you knew she was with me."

Sweets leaned up against the wall and rubbed his tired eyes. "I never doubted her safety, it's not like I didn't know where she was, I just…She's all I have and I worry." He admitted. Of course he had never questioned if his sister was safe, she was with a

sniper- trained, FBI agent who, in his previous life was probably a guard dog.

Booth laid a hand on Sweets' shoulder, "I know and you're all she has. I get it. I care a lot about Gwen and I think you know that I'm not the kind of guy to…" he trailed off not wanting to verbalize exactly what had taken place between him and Gwen the night

before.

"I know you're not. It's just that I've never been inclined to think that Gwen will ever have a 'normal' life and seeing her happy with you gives me…"

"Hope?" Booth asked

"Yeah, how'd you guess?"

"Because the way you've always felt about Gwen is the way I've always felt about myself and she gives me hope."

"And with that hope comes fear - that it'll all fall apart." Sweets said quietly.

"I know."

"Booth?" Brennan called down the corridor, "We're going to be late for court."

Booth turned to face her, "I'm coming, hold on."

Sweets never looked in Brennan's direction, instead he pointed toward her and said, "She's what I'm worried about – Gwen can't compete with Dr. Brennan for you. She just can't. She's not that tough."

Booth looked him dead in the eyes, "She doesn't have to – Gwen and I talked about me and Bones and she gets it. And she _doesn't_ have to compete. I have to get to court but if you want to talk later, let me know." With that, Booth hustled down the hall to meet up with his partner.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Once in the car, on their way to court Booth could practically hear the questions racing through Brennan's mind.

"What, Bones?" he asked against his better judgment.

"Nothing, I'm just going over my testimony in my head."

"You're not, because you don't do that – ever. So, if there is something you want to ask me, ask."

After a few seconds of thought she asked, "Did you sleep with Gwen last night?"

"Yes." He didn't offer any further information but Brennan was intrigued that he answered her at all so she decided to see how far she could take this.

"Was that the first time?"

"Yes." Again he answered, without looking at her – keeping his focus on the road.

"How was it?"

"Too far." He shook his head and looked over at her.

"Too far? What do you mean? I tell you all about my dates."

"First of all, you volunteer information about your dates – I usually don't want to know. Secondly, I'll admit certain things to you about but there are other things that are private and you don't need to know." They pulled up to the courthouse and exited the SUV.

"But Booth, it's unusual for you to admit anything to me about any woman. So either you're loosening up or there's part of you that wants to discuss Gwen with me." She said as they stood in line at the security checkpoint in the courthouse.

He looked at her with amusement. "I'm not loosening up but I also don't want to have this discussion here." He whispered to her.

"Ok, later then."

"By the way Bones, I'm quite proud of your new found use of psychology – if only you'd start applying it to important things, like your life or our cases." He said with a smirk as they took their seats in the crowded courtroom.

As court proceedings got underway, Brennan leaned over and whispered, "I think Gwen could be really good for you."

Booth didn't look over at her to see if she was being sincere or not – he knew she was. She rarely said anything that she didn't mean. And she was right about Gwen, it had only been a week and he could already see the difference she was making and it was good.

Sweets spent the rest of the day fixated on his sister and Booth, making him feel like he needed to see a shrink. Finally, he concluded that he needed to step away and look at them clinically. Remove emotion from the equation – like Dr. Brennan would. He considered giving her a call and asking for a few pointers but then decided against it. He did want to talk to Booth about things but maybe he needed to give it some time – maybe things with Booth and Gwen would fizzle out and he would have nothing to worry about.


	6. Chapter 6

Feeling very much like Charlie Brown with a storm cloud over his head, Sweets headed out of the office for the evening. He wasn't sure what Gwen's plans were for the evening and he didn't really want to know. He headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things and happened to run into Gwen's doctor, Dr. Finn.

"Dr. Finn, nice to see you." He walked over to her, wanting so badly to ask about Gwen but knowing that he wasn't allowed.

"Lance, I told you to call me Sam." She smiled and playfully bumped her cart into his.

"I've never seen you here before – new to the neighborhood?" Sweets knew this was the lamest conversation starter ever but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"No, I just usually shop late at night on the weekends – I don't sleep much."

He furrowed his brow, "Me either – must be the profession."

"I think it's all the coffee – we were brought up being taught that cigarettes were bad for us but coffee was fine so we all got addicted."

"Guess so…Do you want to go get a cup? Now?" Sweets wasn't really in the mood for coffee but he thought it was the least he could do for all the hard work she had put into helping Gwen.

"I'd loved to, you do know that we can't talk about your sister?"

"Of course, we can't – that would be unethical. There's a coffee shop right down the street – meet you there?" Sweets asked surprisingly happy that she agreed.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

An hour later, Sweets and Sam were each on their 4th cup of coffee. They had swapped stories about their most interesting clients and cases – both seeing what they missed out on by choosing their career direction they had. Eventually the conversation drifted toward Gwen.

"Honestly, it's nice to see Gwen fairly stable and Booth is a great guy I just …"

"We can't really talk about this, Lance. You know that."

"We can talk about my feelings though, right?" He asked with his best puppy dog eyes, "Shrinks need shrinks, Sam."

She smiled, she wanted to be open with him but she was in a tough spot. "Yes we can talk about you and your feelings. How does Gwen being here make you feel?"

"Good, protective…but worried and scared."

"Why scared?" Sam was in total therapist mode and Sweets knew it.

"My entire adult life has revolved around Gwen and her well being, I promised my parents, my Mom, before she died that I would…It's a scary way to live.

"Lance, you are not your sister's keeper – regardless of what the healthcare proxy says. She's a grown woman, a smart woman who is capable of taking care of herself."

"Only if she's stable and she's not capable of staying stable on her own – you should know that or you're not doing your job!" Sweets was getting aggravated – he didn't like what Sam was implying.

"I'm sorry, I know the toll mental illness takes on the people that love the afflicted, but you are a psychologist – you know that at the end of the day she's responsible for herself and if she hurts herself or someone else you aren't responsible." She reached across the table and laid a hand on his arm, Sweets could feel tears warming his eyes. "What else scares you about her being here?"

"She came here for a reason, for me to take care of her because even if she wasn't conscience of it, she knew she was headed out of control. And that scares me because what if I didn't notice? Or what if she chose not to come?"

"You can only focus on the what not the what if."

"That's a good one, I'll have to remember that for my patients. But I do know you're right. I just worry about the next time – the next time she's headed for a fall. Will I be there and if I'm not who will be?"

"What about this new guy that you mentioned, what do you think of him?"

"Agent Booth is a good guy, he's a a really good guy. He's what you would refer to as a gentleman, I guess."

"Sounds like she's made a good choice."

"Yeah, I couldn't imagine anyone who is more capable of caring for her. On the outside he's this tough, imposing guy but inside he's very caring and understanding."

"So, you think he's good for her?"

"He could be but…" Sweets trailed off.

"But what?"

"I don't know if he's as available as Gwen needs him to be."

"What do you mean?"

"His partner is a woman and they are very close. I think that she, his partner, might always come first and Gwen can't have that. She needs to be number one. I know how close he is to his partner – it's my job to know."

"That's not the entire reason you're scared, is it?"

He shook his head and looked up at her, tears betraying him, "No, I can't lose her. That's what I'm scared of – losing her in any way, even if that means to someone else who loves her…She's all the family I have. I forget how bad she can get she's out of sight but her being here…I love her, I want her to be happy but I don't know if she ever will be.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When they finished up at court, Booth and Brennan headed to the diner for their usual after case coffee. Brennan had remained quiet about Gwen for the bulk of the day – knowing that Booth would talk when he was ready. Brennan silently patted herself on the back, she was getting quite good at this 'heart' stuff.

"What are you doing this weekend, Bones?" Booth knew where the conversation would end up but he thought he would try and start it in a safe place.

"Kyle is coming down from New York to look at apartments – he was offered a job at Christie's here in DC and he's considering taking it." This was the first time she spoke out loud that her out of town boyfriend may become more and she was surprised that it didn't make her nauseous.

Booth chuckled lightly, "Look at us, like two real adults. Each having a life away from the other. We're really growing up, Bones."

"It is odd when I stop to think about it. How long has it been now, that it's just been us? You and me."

"I know, working late and on the weekends because…" Booth repeatedly stirred his coffee, thinking about the last 3 years and what Gwen coming along meant to them.

"Because we were the only ones worried about the other's whereabouts."

"I guess that…and who wants to go home to an empty house night after night." Booth stared at his coffee swirling in its cup and looked up at Brennan, "You know that just because I'm dating someone, I'm still around, right?"

"Of course, we're still partners. That won't change."

"No, I mean I'm still around for all the other stuff too. The friend stuff, the late night

take-out and all the rest. Gwen doesn't take that from you."

"I know, Booth. And just so you know, Kyle possibly moving to DC doesn't mean that I'm not around for you, either. I can still pick up Parker when you're in a jam and don't expect me to stop coming to his soccer games." She grinned at Booth, knowing that he was struggling internally over opening his life to another woman. Knowing that he some how felt that he was betraying her by being with Gwen.

"Good, he might miss his Bones and you know things might not even pan out for me and Gwen – this could just be a fling and I'll be back begging you to go to the movies with me on a Saturday night." He offered her a weak smile.

"Booth, you don't do flings. I know that much. You wouldn't risk so much, her illness, your relationship with Sweets and the rest of the team if you didn't think it could be or already was more than a fling."

He looked at her cautiously, "You know that, do you Bones?"

"I do. I'm right, aren't I?"

"Yes, you're right. I wouldn't risk it."

"But you think she's worth it." It wasn't a question, it was a statement of the obvious.

"She is..."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Three months had passed since Booth and Gwen had started dating and things appeared to be working out for everyone. Sweets had finally accepted that Gwen was in fact as stable as she would ever be and that with Booth she was safe. The protection and care that the agent gave her was on a level that no other man in her life had ever been able to achieve. She was honest with Booth, she let him in and that allowed him access to a part of her that she had never shared with anyone before. She was so honest with Booth that the conversation Sweets overheard late one Tuesday night surprised him a great deal. Gwen and Booth were in the living room and Sweets had gone to bed hours before, he got up to get a glass of water but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard their voices coming from the living room.

Booth was getting ready to leave for the night, they rarely spent time at Sweets' apartment but Booth had worked late and he had just stopped by to see her and to say good night.

Sitting with her on the couch watching her every move like a cat watches fish in an aquarium, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her the question he had been holding back for months.

"Gwen, come here." He pulled her near him on the couch and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head "I have to ask you, why suicide? I can't understand what would be that bad?"

"You wouldn't understand." She knew that this would eventually come up – not only was Booth not a coward, who would take his own life, he was also Catholic.

"Try me."

She sighed and tried to find the right words, she had spent years trying to explain it to mental health professionals and they never really got it – she didn't know if he would either but she wanted to give him the chance. "Ok...Think of the worst thing you have ever done, then imagine that you can't ever stop thinking about it and you can't eat and you can't sleep and you stop showering because nothing matters. There is no point to your existence…Then there's this abyss that I'm constantly teetering on and sometimes it seems easier to jump in then -"

"To find a way around it." He said quietly

"Yes." She practically whispered.

"I get that – I've felt that. I've stood over that abyss myself, I set up camp there for quite a few years but I've moved a little farther away from it every year since then. My job is death, I see it everyday and I know that it's not an answer to anything."

Turning to face him, to look him in the eye, she asked, "What brought you to the abyss, Seel?"

"You know I was a Ranger, what you don't know is that I was a sniper and I was good. The best...I never missed a target – that's what we were trained to call the people we were sent to kill – targets." He paused to see what her reaction to this was, but she gave nothing away, her face was serene, waiting for him to continue. "I've taken 52 lives and couldn't count the lives of others I have wrecked because of those 52 kills. Whether the people I killed were bad men doesn't matter – even bad people have someone who loves them."

"You were following orders, Seel. I can't imagine that anyone – would hold that against you." She laid a sympathetic hand on his cheek and felt his facial muscles relax.

"I hold it against me, no matter how far I get from it, I hold it against me. I was doing a job but….That's what took me to the abyss. When I got out of the Army, I was lost for a few months and I found myself surrounded by darkness but I never considered suicide – it wouldn't make up for what I had done.

"That, and you're Catholic so it's not an option."

"That's true, the church teaches us that we are merely vessels and that we are not ours to dispose of but my religion didn't get me to back away from the abyss. Becoming a father was the first big step backwards, then realizing that I could do good in the world and then admitting to myself that I wanted a life – I didn't just want to live, I wanted to be alive – all of that got me to walk away."

Gwen leaned away from Booth, feeling unworthy. Here was a man who had wrestled with the guilt of taking lives and had managed to pull himself away from the brink. Why couldn't she have done the same? "I think I've become attached to the darkness – in a sick, twisted way, it's become my safety blanket. It's always been there for me, like an old friend. I don't know how to live without it."

Booth noticed that she had pulled away physically and emotionally, he reached out and pulled her back. "Don't you see that there are things that might be worth trading that for? That there are other things, namely me, that can keep you company, that can keep you safe? Can't you see that I want to there, I am here for you." He kissed her forehead and wiped away the tears that had started to leave trails down her porcelain cheeks.

"I see it, I do Seeley. But I'm afraid to trade right now, you've been in my life for what 4 months? That dark, abyss has been a part of me for my entire life. The one constant."

"Gwen, I want to be a constant in your life. I want to be _the_ constant in your life."

"I want that too, I just need time."

"Lucky for you, I'm a patient man." Booth stood and stretched. "I've got to get home, I have to meet Bones in the morning. Sure you don't want to come home with me?" He asked with pleading brown eyes.

"It's late and cold outside, I think I'll stay here." She leaned into his embrace as he rubbed her back.

"I'll call you in the morning. You're ok?"

"I'm fine." She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him, hoping to convey that she understood what he had been trying to say without actually saying it. After Booth left, Gwen sat back down on the couch and thought about everything they had said. Her thoughts were interrupted by her brother padding into the living room and taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

"Gwen, you do realize that he was trying to tell you that he loves you in his own way, right?" Sweets asked.

"What? No, he wasn't and why are you listening to my conversations? Are you 12?" She wasn't really angry, she knew that her little Lancer would be able to offer her prospective and she needed all of that she could get right now.

"Gwen, how serious are you two?"

"Pretty serious, I don't know. We don't really talk about it." Gwen folded her legs in front of her and twisted side-to-side, stretching out her back

Sweets knew that his next question could possibly backfire on him but he had to know, "Are you in love with him?"

She rolled her neck back and forth, trying to think of something other than screaming 'YES', "I could be, I'm not 100% sure."

"Have you thought this all the way through? You and Booth are very different people." Sweets leaned back – going into therapist mode.

"Yes, I know, Dr. Sweets." She hated it when he tried to analyze her.

"Booth is a catholic-mass-attending, gun-toting, card-carrying-Republican and you…you are not. Gwen, you worship at the altar of Springsteen."

"Come on, 'The Promise'? How do you not feel that pain and desolation in that song?"

"Gwen, not everyone feels things as deeply as you do."

"Look, the differences between Seeley and I don't bother me and if it doesn't bother me it shouldn't bother you. He makes me happy, why question that?"

"I just worry that you're going to pin all your hopes on him and it won't work out."

"Why wouldn't it work out? Because I'm crazy? Or because he's in love with his partner?"

He was always impressed by his sister's honesty, "Gwen, you're not crazy. And why do you think he's in love with Dr. Brennan?"

"He told me – when we first started seeing each other. He told me that if they had met under different circumstances things might have worked between them. He's very committed to her and I get that. I understand that."

"No, you don't. You want to, you think that by appearing to be copasetic with it you're making yourself more appealing to him."

"I don't want to talk about this. Don't shrink my head, I've got a doctor for that."

"Gwen avoiding this will not make it go away. You are in a committed, intimate relationship with a man that may never be able to love you and only you." He squirmed slightly in his seat when he used the word 'intimate'.

"Stop, Lance you don't understand."

"I think I do, Booth would never hurt you on purpose but the reality is-

Gwen cut him off, intending to put a stop to the conversation by making her little brother uncomfortable. "The reality is you have no idea what it's like to make love to someone who truly gets you. Someone whose intimate touches are far more than just sexual." She saw the look of horror on his face when she emphasized the last word.

"Gwen, I don't need to know about that…" He trailed off, trying to keep unwanted mental images out of his mind.

"Oh Lance, I love you and I love that you still care after all I've done."

"But?" He wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"No buts – I don't think you should ever use I love you and but in the same sentence, it's not fair."

"That's interesting….Gwen just be careful, please?"

"Ok, I'm going to bed. I have a phone conference tomorrow morning with my old boss – I think they want me back."

"Would you go back to Charlotte?"

"No, I want to stay here with you."

"Gwen, you don't need to work full time. You know that."

"I know, but I feel like a dead beat only doing free lance work and living off of that money Grandmother left us. I want to work." She leaned down and kissed her little brother on the head, "Good night, Angel Baby."

"Night, Gwen."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

As Sweets headed back to bed he was soothed by the idea that Gwen wanted to work, that she wanted to contribute to her own life but he also couldn't stop thinking about Booth and Brennan and what their 'unique' bond meant for his sister.

The next morning Sweets awoke to find his sister already up and eating breakfast. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from her.

"So it's Friday – do you have any plans?" Gwen asked with a sly grin, she knew that over the past few months her brother had had coffee with Dr. Finn several times, she hadn't mentioned it because she knew that Lance would tell her when he was ready.

"Why?

"I've noticed that you aren't around much on Friday evenings – new palates class?"

He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, "What do you know?"

Gwen feigned innocence, "What are you talking about?"

"I have always been able to determine when you are lying to me. How long have you known?"

"A few weeks ago I saw you two at the diner and then I started remembering how you always had 'plans' on Fridays – are you dating her or is it strictly business?"

"Neither…I can't really date her – that would be unethical but…"

"You like her?"

"I do – she's very insightful and-"

"Hot, Lance it's ok, I can see that she's a total hottie."

He blushed slightly, "Yeah she is."

"I don't mind if you date her, am I the reason you're not dating her?"

"It is a conflict of interest." He didn't want to levy any guilt on her about the situation.

"I can get a new doctor, what about that guy in her practice? Can he treat me?"

"Gwen, I'm not going to ask you to change doctors."

"Lance, you're not asking – I'm offering. Besides, I'm only seeing her for med checks now anyway. In case you haven't noticed, I'm doing pretty well. I know I shouldn't get too optimistic but I feel great and I have priorities now – that I never had before. If dating my beautiful shrink is going to make happy – then do it."

He eyed her cautiously, "Let me think about it. By the way, I've asked you a lot to stop calling us shrinks – it's insulting to our profession."

"I'll try but old habits are hard to break." She got up from the table and started doing the dishes. "Are you afraid to ask her out? Because I could put a word or two in for you – you are a great catch. Funny, handsome, smart no you're brilliant and you are on the career fast track – the ladies should be pounding down your door."

"Gwen, I'm getting in the shower and going to work – do not call or visit Dr. Finn without my prior knowledge, Ok?"

"I just want you to be as happy as you want me to be. And I'm pretty damn happy….so think about that. For me?"

"Ok, I'll think about." What Gwen didn't know is that he thought about it a lot – almost every hour of everyday.

On his way to work, Sweets couldn't stop thinking about Booth telling Gwen that he was in love Dr. Brennan. The thing was, while he should be concerned about the situation on a professional level but he was actually only thinking about his big sister and how she must feel knowing that.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

After sitting in his own office for a few hours, Sweets decided to swing by Booth's to talk to him. As he approached he saw that the agent was having a very animated phone conversation, he knocked on the open door and Booth waved him in.

Sweets sat listening to Booth's end of the phone call, "I don't pick on you for that stuff….used to – used is the word you need to focus on…..yeah, fine….Sweets is here now, do you want me to bring him?…..uh, give me 30 minutes or so…..yeah." He snapped the phone shut. "Bones, wants you to come by the lab with me in a little while to look at some photos, you game?"

"Of course…Can I ask you something without you throttling me?"

Booth squinted at him, "Depends, what do you want to know?"

"It's personal, not in any way work related."

"So, it's about Gwen?"

Sweets nodded.

"Ok, what?"

"Why would you tell her that you were in love with Dr. Brennan?"

Booth stood to close his office door, he was not expecting that question, he was expecting something more along the lines of 'What are your intentions…' He sighed as he sat back down, "I told her that I loved Bones, not that I was in love with her and that was months ago, when we first started dating – I wanted to be honest with her. You, of all people know how close Bones and I are, how important we've become to each other. I thought it was only fair that Gwen knew."

"So, have things changed? After almost 5 months of being with my sister? Because if they haven't – you should break things off with her, she needs someone who can commit completely to her."

Booth's eyes narrowed on the doctor, "The way I view my life has changed since Gwen came along…I don't know exactly what that means, but I do know that I am committed to her – completely."

"Are you in love with Gwen?" Sweets knew that any one of his questions could set Booth off but he didn't care, all he was worried about was Gwen.

Booth looked him dead in the eye and didn't miss a beat, "Yes."

Sweets was blown away by Booth's quick honesty. "But you haven't told her. Why?"

"Because, I don't want to scare her. I don't know if she's there yet and I don't want to push her away if she's not."

"That's a valid reason, but you should tell her. Don't put it off." Sweets stood to leave, with his hand on the door her turned to Booth, "Thanks for not punching me, just now."

"I respect that you are only looking out for your sister – I'm the same way. Look at how I treat the guys Bones dates and they are never half as great as me." He flipped Sweets a cocky grin. "Can you come with me now to the lab?"

"Yeah, let me run to my office – I'll be back." Sweets left the office relieved, maybe Gwen had chosen the right path this time.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb

Angela sauntered into Brennan's office with mischief in mind. She took a seat in front of the doctor's desk.

"Bren, is Booth still dating Sweets' babe-a-licious sister?"

Brennan smiled at her friend's unconventional description of Gwen, "Yes, he is."

"How is that working? Doesn't that cut into your time with him?"

"Ange, not much has changed with Booth and I – we don't have dinner together as much as we used to but other than that things are the same and he's happy, happier than I have ever seen him."

"What do you think of her? Honestly?"

"I think that anyone that can make him smile the way she does is special and a welcomed addition. Angela, I have never seen Booth so…so content. She's what he's been looking for – she's fun and smart and needs him."

"I don't know…I need to evaluate her myself."

"No you don't."

"I do, not just anyone is good enough for our Booth."

"Our Booth? Ange, really you are acting…irrational."

"Am I? This is the longest relationship Booth has had since he's been working with us – we need to know where it's headed. For purely professional reasons…That and she's ridiculously beautiful and Booth is hot, hot, hot can you imagine what the two of them together must be like?"

"Angela, I don't think about Booth and Sweets' sister having sex. Why would I?"

"If you were in my head, you'd know why." Her eyes lit up naughtily, "Anyway, I have determined that Gwen needs to be analyzed for everyone's safety, what if she's KGB?"

"The Cold War is over, Ange."

"I think Jack would disagree with the status of that war and you know it, Bren."

"Do what you want but I want no part in it. I like Booth with Gwen, you would too if you gave her a chance. Besides, you like Kyle don't you? Or are you going to Booth and complaining about Kyle behind my back?"

"No, Kyle I like. He's sweet and smart and in no way permanent."

Brennan's face crinkled at Angela's assumption.

"Sorry Sweetie but no one else is going to tell you that. Kyle is not a man that's going to be around for long – whether you get bored or he gets another job and moves."

"You know I've never been worried about long term, Ange."

"I know you haven't but…" Angela didn't have the heart to finish her sentence.

"But what?"

"You haven't been concerned about long-term for years because at the end of the day…"

"Angela, leave or say what you want to say."

"You haven't been concerned about a long-term relationship for years because there was someone else who was worried about you. And now he's in a relationship and you are going to be alone."

"I'm not alone. I have you guys and you need to give Gwen a chance. She's a lot like you."

"Hey it took me long enough to warm up to her brother it could take a lot longer to warm up to Gwen."

"Actually Angela, that's not going to be a problem – people always like Gwen better than me." Angela turned to see Booth and Sweets standing in the doorway to Brennan's office.

"Right, ok…I'm gonna go do something…" Angela slipped out of the office as quickly as possible.

Booth and Sweets took seats across from Brennan, "Angela is concerned about your relationship with Gwen. She wants to make sure that Sweets' big sister is good enough for 'Our Booth', her words not mine."

"What did you tell her?" Booth asked.

"The truth, that you seem happy and content and that I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Thanks Bones. I want you to be happy too."

"I'm glad that you both want the other to be happy but I have patients to see in an hour so what do you need from me?" Sweets asked slightly annoyed – something that pleased the partners far too much.

"Actually, Angela has the pictures in her office so…"Brennan watched as Sweets laboriously pulled himself out of the chair he had been sitting in and dragged himself toward Angela's office.

Once he was out of ear shot Brennan asked, "What's with him today?"

Booth sighed, "He's concerned about me and Gwen. I don't know…I was there kind of late and…"

"What about you too? Is everything ok?"

"Everything is fine, he's just looking out for her and I have to respect that so I'm trying to be a good sport. But I am not used to justifying my personal life to anyone…Do you want to get lunch?"

"I can't Kyle has to work tonight so I told him that we could have lunch today – do you want to get dinner tonight?"

"Can't, Gwen has to work today and she and I are having dinner tonight. Hey, do you want to come with us? I'd like you to get to know each other better." He had that lost puppy look on his face that Brennan was unable to say no to, no matter how often she tried.

"Sure, what time?"

"The diner, at 7?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you guys there. I'm…I'm looking forward to it." Brennan watched her partner leave and head towards Angela's office to look for Sweets. When he was finally out of ear shot she sighed loudly to herself, the things she did for that man.

While Sweets was sitting in Angela's office she saw it as the perfect time to pump him for information about Gwen.

"How's Gwen?"

"She's going to start working for her old company again so that's good."

"Oh, is she going back to North Carolina?"

"No, I think she's going to stay here for awhile and work from home."

"Do you think she's staying because of Booth?"

"I'd like to think that she's staying here for me but the truth is woman don't stay places because of their scrawny little brothers."

"But they do stay for their hunky, FBI boyfriends?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"Are you really ok with all of this or are you trying to 'appear to be ok' with?"

"I really am ok with it – think about it, if you had to choose anyone in the world to date _your _sister, wouldn't you pick Booth?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."_ I kind of already did when I picked him for Brennan_, she thought to herself.

"Hey, Angela you're kind of a relationship aficionado, aren't you?" Sweets asked before he left her office.

"I like to think I am, what's up?" She spun around in her seat desperately hoping that he was going to share a deep dark secret that was going to make Gwen seem less perfect.

"If you had a working relationship with someone, not necessarily where you work but they have the same profession as and you had been spending quite a bit of time with that person but you weren't sure how they felt about you, what would you do to determine their feelings?"

"Do I know this someone?"

"No, she's a private practice psychiatrist that I have been having coffee with almost every Friday for the past 6 weeks or so."

"Do you call and make plans or does she automatically show up?"

"Automatically shows up." He sat down across from the artist waiting for the pearls of wisdom to start flowing.

"Is it always just coffee or does it sometimes turn into dinner or something?"

"Sometimes something more."

"She's interested."

"Really?"

"Please, a young single doctor who is showing up week after week without making plans? Sweets, she wants you."

"Thanks."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"It's complicated, she's my sister's doctor so until Gwen decides if she wants to change doctors I can't do anything."

"You have the hots for your sister's doctor, Sweets I am…I'm impressed. Very taboo." She playfully slapped him on the arm.

"Yeah, I guess. Gwen is fine with changing doctors so I guess I just need to figure out how to ask her out on a real date. Any suggestions?"

"Yeah, tonight while you're having coffee ask her out for dinner for tomorrow – that breaks the cycle of every Friday and you'll know if she wants more."

"That seems too simple."

"It usually is just that simple." Angela smiled as Sweets left her office. "Boys" she muttered under her breath, "Give 'em how-to books, diagrams, duplicate doctorates and they still fumble through life…"


	7. Chapter 7

_6 weeks later_

Booth was sitting alone in the diner waiting for Brennan to have breakfast. While he was waiting he kept replaying the conversation he and Gwen had the night before.

It had been an uneventful evening for the most part, they had gone to bed early and fallen asleep quickly. About 3am Booth got a call that a suspect he had been looking for had finally been located and would be available for questioning first thing in the morning. When he hung up the phone he walked back into the bedroom and noticed that Gwen had her right wrist stretched behind her head and the moonlight was highlighting her scar.

Booth thought back to the night that she told him why she done it and standing over her while she slept, he was realized how grateful he was that she was still alive. That she had failed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss her cheek, she stirred and looked up at him.

"Work? You have to leave, Seel?"

"No." He lightly shook his head and smiled.

What's wrong?" She sat up slightly in the bed.-->-->

He reached out and brushed a few wisps of hair off of her face. "I'm sorry to wake you but this couldn't wait, I love you, Gwen. I'm in love you and have been for awhile."-->-->

She smiled, "You can't."-->-->

"What, yes I can, I do." He leaned forward to kiss her and she offered her cheek in place of her lips.-->-->

"Remember? This, you and me, is your affair. Remember?"

"Gwen, I told you that almost 9 months ago. Things have changed – you are not my mistress. I do not have a mistress and I am not involved in an affair. It's only you and me. I love you, Gwen"

Gwen Sweets had been waiting her entire life for a man to look at her like that and say those words with the conviction and honesty that he just had and it rendered her speechless and on the verge of tears.

"Gwen, don't cry. I don't expect anything in return I just wanted you to know."

"I love you Seeley, I do. I just didn't expect to ever be your priority…" She leaned in, resting her forehead on his bare shoulder.

"I didn't expect that either, but you are."

She looked up at him and this time when he leaned in for a kiss she met his lips with hers. That night, they made love like they invented it.

Brennan slapped her bag down on the table and snapped Booth out of his thoughts of the previous night. "What are you so happy about?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Gwen?" She asked with a grin.

"Yeah, she so unusual and surprising."

"How?"

"She's just different Bones, I can't really explain it."

"Give me an example"

He gave her a sideway glance and tossed down the magazine he was holding, "Ok, I haven't dated a woman, since you and I have been partners, that didn't care that you were my partner. She accepts it - all of it. You, the danger, the late nights - they don't phase her."

"So two nights ago when you got home at 3am?"

"She was awake, watching TV, when I came in she checked to make sure I was all in one piece then went to bed."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Kyle not as understanding?"

"He is but he wouldn't be in my apartment if I wasn't so he wouldn't be waiting up." She smirked, "Something you've failed to mention?"

"What?"

"Did she move in with you?"

Booth scoffed, "No - not that I don't want her to, it just hasn't come up and I don't want to scare her off by asking."

"Booth, I have to say that she doesn't seem to scare easy."

"I know, I've noticed...maybe I haven't asked because I'm not ready."

"I think you are."

"Really?"

"You wouldn't have even discussed it with me if you hadn't been over it with yourself many times." She said without looking up at him, she didn't need to gauge his reaction, she knew she was right.

Booth smiled at her, "You do know me better than you let on - don't you?"

"I do. Is Parker's reaction holding you back?"

He shrugged, "Parker is crazy about her, I don't think it would phase him at all."

"So ask her - you know you want to. You like having someone at home waiting for you and I'm not saying that's a negative thing at all."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

A few weeks later, the entire Jeffersonian group was in attendance for the Jeffersonian Founders gala that was held very year in late summer. At one time it had been the cause for much malcontent among the Medco Legal lab team but in recent years it had become something that they actually started to look forward to. It was a chance for them to get dressed up, have some fun and be adored by the fabulously-wealthy individuals who donated to the museum. The previous year they had all attended together – the only couple in the group then was Angela and Hodgins. This year, everyone with the exception of Cam not only had a date, they had a significant other in their life that they were more than happy to show off.

For Sweets the event was the first time that he was able to introduce Samantha to the group. After his conversation with Angela, a few months before, he asked Sam out on a 'real' date and when Gwen started seeing another doctor in the practice, Sweets and Sam became inseparable. It seems that all of those months of meeting for coffee had laid the groundwork for a relationship that was unlike any he had ever been in before.

Samantha understood him, all of him; the professional frustrations, the family obligations, his love of British sitcoms and mid-90's music. When she looked at him he never felt judged, he felt accepted. When he thought about her, which was becoming as often as breathing for him, he was always thinking of things that were going to make her smile, things to make her laugh. Looking toward the future, something that had always filled him with trepidation now made him anxious but anxious in the best possible way. He was, for the first time in his 23 years, excited about the path before him.

When she opened the door to her apartment, when he came to pick her up for the gala, he was struck speechless. Samantha was beautiful, this was not a new revelation for Sweets - he had noticed that years ago when they first met. She had only become more beautiful to him as he got to know her better, as they spent more time together. Dressed for work or the weekends or not at all he never tired of looking at her. But the sight of her in a form-fitting, backless, black dress with her strawberry blonde haired pulled up off her shoulders was more than he could handle. He reconciled in his mind that there was a strong possibility that he had never and would never see anything quite as stunning.

"Is it too much?" She asked nervously when he failed to speak after several minutes, "I haven't been to one of these events before and it said black-tie so…."

Sweets' lips falling on to hers silenced her, when he pulled away he said, "You look amazing. It's, no you're perfect." As they headed to the car there was a part of him, the part that didn't have a date to his senior prom, that couldn't wait to get to the museum to show her off. He chastised himself for thinking of her as an object but then decided that after a life time of being last in love and the butt of more jokes than he cared to remember it was ok for him to be proud that this woman chose him and that he wanted everyone to know.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Already at the gala, Brennan and Kyle stood in the corner while he was giving her details regarding his next business trip but she was only giving him a portion of her attention. Brennan sincerely cared about what he was saying but she was more concerned with staying out of the eye line of the donors. She appreciated the fact that these people supported the institution, her favorite place, but hated that they always wanted to discuss her books and the possible movies but not the important work that was being done daily at the Jeffersonian by some of the most brilliant minds in the world.

"Temperance? Are you listening to me?" Kyle noticed that she had stopped paying attention when he asked her to come with him to Prague and she said 'No, Hodgins usually spikes the punch'.

Brennan sighed, "Kyle, I'm sorry. These events make me so nervous. I recognize their importance but I can't help but feel like an exhibit on display."

He smiled, "Maybe they should get all of you glass cases to stand in and that way everyone could get a glimpse at the beautiful and brilliant Dr. Brennan and you wouldn't have to talk to them….Before, I asked if you wanted to go to Prague with me in a few months? Just for a week, no more than 5 days, you have to have some vacation time, don't you?"

"I do, I would love to go. I just need-"

"You just need to clear things with Cam and your agent and Booth?" He asked.

"Unfortunately, yes. My life is my own but my time is not. I thought you understood that?"

"I do, I always have. I was just joking, Temperance." He was getting ready to ask her to dance when he saw an unfamiliar, striking woman in a canary yellow dress enter the room, "Does she work here? I don't think I've seen her before.

Brennan turned to get a better look at the woman in question, "That's Gwen, Booth's girlfriend. Although, I don't see Booth." She craned her neck to look around the ballroom for her partner.

"Don't take this the wrong way Temperance but your partner has done quite well for himself."

"Yes, Gwen is very beautiful but then Booth is aesthetically pleasing as well so they make a good pair." Brennan felt bad as she watched Gwen standing near the door looking very lost and very alone. "I'm going to go see if everything is ok, she looks nervous. Want to come?"

"No, I'm going to find Hodgins and see about this spiked punch." He smirked and kissed her on the cheek as they parted in opposite directions.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When Booth and Gwen arrived at the museum that evening, he realized that he left the placard the FBI was giving the Jeffersonian in honor of their 4 year's of cooperation in the car. He insisted that Gwen go inside and wait instead of walking another 2 blocks in her heels. The minute she entered the room, she knew that she should have gone with him or at least waited outside for him. The people she knew, that she thought would be there weren't and her anxiety was starting to get the best of her. Her hands started trembling and she felt the distinct sensation of sweat beading on her lower back.

After what seemed like an eternity, she finally saw a familiar face when Brennan approached her, "Oh, Temperance. Thank God, a few more minutes of not seeing a single person I knew and I was going to leave….You look fantastic, you clean up quite well."

Brennan smiled, the last time she saw Gwen was about a week ago at the lab. Brennan and Booth had spent the day combing a swamp for remains and Brennan had been covered in a slimy substance that she kept insisting was organic and nothing to be worried about. "Thanks but the truth is, I'd rather be in my gum boots knee deep in a swamp than here. Where's Booth?"

"He left something in the car, he should be back in a few minutes. Have you seen my brother?"

"No, but I hear he's bringing his new girlfriend tonight. I'm looking forward to meeting her. The last time I met one of his girlfriends was a disaster…"

"Yeah, I've heard that story many, many times…April was a flake, sweet, but a flake. Sam is smart and dynamic – she's perfect for Lance."

While she and Gwen talked, Brennan had a sudden realization; this was the woman that she was now sharing Booth with. This was the woman that Booth was in love with – Brennan only knew this because after 2 days of badgering him about it he had broken down and admitted that he was in fact very much in love with Gwen.

Booth had dated woman before but Brennan never really liked any of them and they never hung around very long but Gwen was different. For starters, Brennan actually liked her not just because she made Booth happy but also because she was a genuinely nice and interesting person. The other thing that helped Gwen stand out from the rest was the fact that she and Booth had been together for nearly a year. With the kind of lives that the partners lived, a year- long relationship was a near miracle.

"There's my brother!" Gwen pointed across he room. "I always love to see him in a tux – it happens so rarely. And Samantha looks perfect, I bet he wishes this was a high school reunion."

"Why would he wish that? I thought people hated those?"

"Lance wasn't exactly the most popular guy in school – he didn't even go to his senior prom so for him to be here, with a woman that looks like that, is probably erasing a lot of those bad memories."

"I didn't go to any proms, either. But something tells me that you did, I bet you were even voted prom queen." Brennan said with a grin.

"Actually, I was. Just goes to show you that some people peak in high school and others spend the rest of their lives reaching new heights, like you and Lance."

"Booth was the prom king and I don't think that he peaked in high school but I do find it interesting that you two found each other." Brennan smiled, he hated it whenever she reminded him of that fact.

"The difference with Seeley and a lot of the other guys who were prom king is that he made a conscience decision to change. He walked away from that way of living and looking at the world. He made a choice to take what he was given and to use it to help others instead of only helping himself. He's very unselfish - it'll be his undoing."

Brennan was impressed with Gwen's assessment of Booth. It seemed that not only did she know who Booth was now, she also knew who he was before. Brennan wondered if Gwen knew everything - all things that he was atoning for, whether they were his fault or not.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

While Booth was rushing back into the museum to find Gwen, he was shocked when he ran into Deputy Director Cullen.

"Agent Booth, running late?"

"Sir? Is something wrong?"

"Not at all."

"Not to be rude but, why are you here? Not only do you hate black tie functions – you hate this place in particular." Booth continued walking along side his boss, silently hoping that he wasn't there to 'observe'.

Cullen was more than amused at the agent's obvious discomfort. "I do get invited to the events Booth, I thought that for once I'd check one out…That and the gossip around the office is that you've got a pretty serious girlfriend. I know you Booth, I know that you're a private guy but I figured that for an event like this you might bring her."

"Her name is Gwen and yes, I brought her with me."

"Why haven't I seen her around the office?"

Booth shrugged his shoulders, "How often do you see me around the office?"

"Good point." As they entered the gala Cullen scanned the room and asked, "Ok, which one is she?"

"She's over there in the corner." Booth gestured to where Gwen was standing with Brennan, Angela and Samantha.

"I know it's not Dr. Brennan, not Ms. Montenegro – unless she's broken up with the bug guy?"

Booth shook his head, "Nope."

Cullen summed up the two remaining women, both beautiful but both very different. "So, it's either the stunning blonde, or the gorgeous brunette? Your life is remarkably unfair."

"It's not easy being me but I manage." Booth grinned as he crossed his arms in front of him and waited for Cullen's pick.

"Knowing your history, I _would_ say it's the blonde but, I'm going to go with my gut and say it's the other one."

"Your gut is still top-notch, sir."

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The gala was in full swing when Sweets heard Senator Steran, a member of the Senate committee that appropriated funds to the Jeffersonian, refer to his sister as a Jessica Rabbit body double. Immediately he searched the room for Booth and Gwen. When he finally located them he was thankful that they were on the opposite side of the room from the Senator. While the comment made Sweets uncomfortable and a little angry he knew that it would enrage Booth and no one needed an enraged Agent Booth laying into a United States Senator at a black-tie function.

Sweets hadn't spent much time with Gwen in the past few weeks, while she wasn't officially living with Booth, she was never home any more. The truth was, even if she had been home he wouldn't have been since he was spending all of his spare time with Sam.

As he made his way over to her and Booth he took notice of her interactions with the rest of the Jeffersonian team, it appeared that everyone had taken a liking to Gwen – everyone accept Angela. He could see from across the room that the artist was keeping her attention focused on Gwen, almost as if she was looking for a reason to dislike her. He knew that his sister was a grown woman and could take care of herself but he worried that even the slightest hiccup on the road to a more normal life could send her careening into the proverbial ditch of life. Sweets stole her away from the Booth and the rest and took a walk outside with her.

"How's it going, Gwen?"

"Ok, Booth and I are getting a dog tomorrow – we've been arguing over the name all week. Don't you think that Bruce is a better name than Glock for puppy?"

"I don't want to get in the middle of that one – bring me in for the important stuff like what to have for dinner tomorrow night, ok? Just find a common ground." He noticed a darkness behind her green eyes and was immediately worried by it. "How are you, Gwen? You seem a little out of it tonight."

"I'm fine…Good, things are good." She smiled but the emotion behind it seemed false to Sweets.

"Gwen? Physically you're here and you look amazing but I can see it in your eyes – you're a million miles away."

"I'm tired, Lancer. I've been working overtime to get the holiday collection done, a lot of late nights and…" she trailed off, worried that if she said any more, he would read too much into it.

"And what? Gwen if you can't talk to me who can you?"

"Things are changing with Seeley and I and it scares me…that's all, I'm just being paranoid."

"I thought things were good with you guys – you seem happy."

"We are, that's what scares me. Who decided that I get to be this happy?" She smiled, this time it was slightly more believable.

"You did, the minute you made the decision to start taking care of yourself. Happiness isn't this unattainable, magical state that only a few chosen people get to experience. We all have claim to it we just need to believe that we deserve it. I've always known that you deserved it but I think you're starting to see it for the first time."

"If I deserve it, why am I so conflicted?"

"Adjusting to any change takes time – your past history has taught you that. This is a bigger change than most, not only did you change states, cities, residences, medications, but you also started dating a new guy and all of those things factored together have changed the way you perceive your own reality. Gwen, you are handling all of this far better than I expected."

"It doesn't feel that way."

"Give it time, it's harder for you to see things looking out from the inside. Those of us here on the outside, we see it." He looked over at her and noticed that all of his positive reinforcement was making her uncomfortable, "I know you hate to hear this but I'm proud of you, more than you know and more than I will ever tell you."

"Let's go back inside before Samantha regrets getting involved with a guy related to a crazy person – I know, it's not a clinical term just let me use it."

Once they were back inside, Gwen found Samantha quickly. "Ah, Lance she looks so lonely – go get her." Gwen stood in the middle of the dance floor and marveled at how quickly her brother made it across the room. She couldn't hold it against him she wanted him to be happy, she needed him to be happy.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

After hanging back quietly in the background for the bulk of the evening, Angela couldn't hold her tongue any longer. She pulled Brennan down a darkened hallway with panic written across her face.

"Ange, what's wrong? Are you ok?" Brennan stumbled in her heels to keep up with her friend's hastened pace.

Once she determined that they were far enough away from the crowd, Angela spun around and looked at her friend, "_I'm_ fine…Did you know that Booth and Gwen are getting a puppy tomorrow?"

"Yes, they've been arguing about names all week."

"Don't you see – this is huge and awful?…I mean, they practically live together already, they're getting a dog. You know what's next."

Brennan shook her head and smiled, "I really don't, what?"

"Mark my words, she'll be Mrs. Special Agent Seeley Booth before you know it."

"Booth loves her and she hasn't given me a single reason to not like her. Why does this upset you so much?"

"Sweetie, you have to know." Angela tilted her head, waiting for Brennan to realize the obvious.

"Why, because you have this far-fetched notion that Booth and I belong together?"

"It's not that far-fetched. Look at how much he's helped you, he's always on your side – even when he's mad at you, he worries about you and he wants you to be happy at any cost." Brennan was surprised to see her friend's eyes slightly moist. "You don't find that in a person every day."

"Everything you said about Booth is true but its also true about you – you're both my friends, my best friends. Besides, Booth and I want absolutely different things from our lives. Love, marriage and children – he wants those things more than you could ever know. I don't want them at all."

"Bren, I just…I don't know that I can fully support his relationship. Did you see her tonight? Who wears a canary yellow dress to a formal function like this?"

"I recall you wearing a hot pink tuxedo to this very event, maybe six years ago?"

"That was different."

"Really? Why?"

"I was younger then and I hadn't decided if I was going to hang around here for very long."

"But you did. Imagine if we had written you off back then, just like you're trying to do to Gwen now? Think about the void that would have left in all our lives."

"You know Bren, I have always encouraged you to develop your emotional, more intuitive side but that was before you started using it against me." Angela offered a slight, weak smile.

"Angela, I think you are being irrational. They have been together for close to a year, maybe longer. I've been seeing Kyle almost as long and that doesn't seem to bother you."

"You know why Kyle doesn't bother me – I've told you why. Kyle isn't the kind of guy to stand up to you, to make you see the things that you are all too willing to ignore. You've been dating for a year – have you even told him that you love him or he you?"

"You know I don't believe in love – I believe in physical attraction, mutual interests and companionship."

"Sweetie, most people consider all of those things to add up to love."

"I don't, I never have…Look, why don't we plan a night for the three of us, you, me and Gwen, to go to dinner? You can get to know her better and maybe you'll even start to like her a little. Do it for Booth. You love Booth."

Brennan had a point, Angela did have a soft spot for that hard-edged agent. She folded her arms and stomped her left foot, then gave in like a spoiled child, "Fine, but I get to ask her all the inappropriate questions that I have wanted answers to since the day that man walked into our lab." With those as her parting words she turned on her heel and headed back to the festivities, passing Booth on her way. She barely mumbled a 'hello' while she breezed passed him.

"What's wrong with Angela?"

"Apparently, you and Gwen getting a dog is the first sign of the universe unraveling – according to Angela."

He chuckled, "That took longer than I thought."

"Longer than you thought?"

"I was sure she would have acted out before now. Pulled some crazy stunt to make sure her reality is the only reality."

"She'll be fine, she and I are going to take Gwen out to dinner one night so Angela can see firsthand that Gwen isn't a black hole we're going to lose you to."

"Thanks Bones, I appreciate it. As they made their way back to the group, Booth asked, "Have you seen Gwen?"

"The last time I saw her she was with Sweets."

He shook his head, "Sweets is dancing with Sam. I have no idea where she got off to."

"Is everything ok?"

Booth sighed and stopped, leaning up against the wall, "It's fine…she just seems a little off. Not quite herself. She's been working a lot, not sleeping all that much."

"She's just stressed though, right? Nothing else is going on?" Brennan didn't want to come right out and ask if Gwen was having an episode.

"I don't think so but…you know, I watched her like a hawk for the first months that we were together and she was fine, she's been fine and I don't want to overreact if she is just tired and stressed but what if it's more and I don't do the right thing?"

"Have you talked to Sweets?"

"I don't want to alarm him if it's nothing."

"I think he'd want to know either way – wouldn't you?"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The following weekend Brennan had Gwen and Angela over to her apartment for dinner and the chance for the two women to get to know each other. Angela arrived first giving Brennan the opportunity to remind Angela that Gwen was important to Booth and therefore she should be important to them as well. Also, that Gwen was an artist just like her – the two woman had to have more in common than either realized.

After a quiet dinner, during which Brennan did most of the talking, the woman retreated to the living room for wine and conversation.

"How are things going with your brother and Samantha?" Brennan asked as she handed Gwen a glass of wine.

"Good, he's really happy. I don't see him much anymore but Sam's good for him, she gets him – doesn't make him feel bad for being…you know, Lance is a little odd and he's so smart that a lot of the woman he's chosen haven't understood him. Samantha does."

After remaining silent for most of the evening, Angela finally spoke up, "Ok Gwen, I have to come out and ask, Booth isn't really a good Catholic boy once he gets you in bed is he?"

"Angela! That is none of our business. Gwen you can ignore her." Brennan knew that Angela was only partially joking.

"Come on, that swagger has to translate extremely well into other areas." Angela had the devil in her eyes.

Gwen grinned, she knew this was her chance to win Angela over, "I know that he wouldn't appreciate me sharing that information with you…but I will say that Seeley Booth is by far the best thing I have ever had wrapped around me."

While Angela's ears perked up Brennan's turned bright red – she didn't need to know the intimate details of her partner's life.

"I knew it, the first time he came walking into our lab 6 years ago, what did I tell you Bren?"

Brennan shook her head, "I don't remember…"

"I told you that any man who looked and moved the way he did could shift the heavens." Turning to Gwen, "The earth moves, doesn't it?"

Gwen nodded with enthusiasm.

Trying to change the subject Brennan asked, "Gwen how's the dog, have you guys decided on a name yet?"

Ignoring her friend, Angela continued, "Gwen, is it as good as he looks?"

Choosing her words carefully, Gwen leaned over the coffee table toward Angela and responded quietly, "He combines a dominant strength and power with raw passion and a desire to please in a way that I have never experienced before."

With that one response, Gwen found a friend for life in Angela, "Just as I expected, not that I want Booth but you don't work with a man like that and not wonder what it would be like, right Bren?"

Brennan had been listening intently but was trying to appear indifferent to the conversation, "What? No, I don't wonder…I accept that Booth is a very attractive man but I haven't spent the time you have having thinking of him in that way."

"We see people in the capacity that we need them in. Temperance, you see Seeley as your best friend, your confidant, so you don't think past that. And you Angela, see him as an attractive guy that you work with and are friends with so you have the freedom to fantasize."

"What about you, Gwen? How do you see Booth?" Brennan asked, much to Angela's surprise.

"As the man I love." It was a simple statement but said with such conviction and truth that it totally and completely changed Angela's mind about who might be the perfect woman for Seeley Booth.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When Gwen got back to Booth's that night, he was full of questions about dinner. Gwen just smiled when he asked how everything went. She went into the kitchen to say good night to Baba in his crate. Baba was the name they had finally decided on for the puppy. They had him for well over a week before they could agree on Baba O'Riley Booth as his name. Booth followed her into the bedroom and sat down on the bed watching her undress.

"Did Angela behave herself?"

"I guess, what would you consider not behaving?" She knew exactly what he wanted to know but he was adorable when he wasn't in control of a situation.

"You know what I mean, Gwen."

"Oh, sex stuff?"

"Yes."

"She asked some questions, no big deal."

"What did you say?" The last thing he needed was Gwen sharing information with Angela – information that could be used against him at a later date.

Knowing that he wouldn't be too appreciative to hear that she had been so descriptive about his prowess, she innocently said, "I told them that I wasn't comfortable discussing that." She turned to face him on the bed and was surprised to find him standing directly behind her. "Jeez! Seel make a noise or something, you're gonna give me a heart attack!"

"I think you're lying." He said quietly, trying to appear menacing but it was hard to be menacing when she was standing there practically naked. "What's it going to take to get the truth out of you?" He asked with an eyebrow arched.

"That is the truth. Now please, step aside. I would like to go to bed." She placed a hand on his chest to give him a light shove and before she knew it she had been spun around and was falling backwards onto the bed cradled in Booth's arms. For as adorable as she found him when he had no control over a situation, he was absolutely irresistible when he was in complete control.

Just as Booth thought he was bending her will with his own, his phone rang. With a heavy sigh he scrambled off the bed, away from Gwen and into the living room. When he returned he had his 'I'm sorry' face plastered on.

"I know, I know someone found a deformed dead guy, blah, blah blah…Do you have to go right now, you can't wait like 20 minutes?" She asked as she propped herself up on one elbow and wrapped the sheets around her upper torso. He sat down on the edge of the bed to put his socks and pants on. Gwen took notice of the scars on his back and when he stood and turned around of the ones on his chest as well – she never got used to seeing them or the thought that his job put him in constant danger. She had her own scars but they were all self-inflicted – she was the only danger in her life.

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her, "I have to go now, because it's never 20 minutes, it turns into 2 hours and local cops don't like it when I show up late with bed head." His phone rang again. "Booth…yeah, I just got the call, too…I can pick you up – apartment or lab?…Ok….Ok….yes." He snapped his phone shut.

"Temperance?"

He nodded while buckling his belt. "I'm sorry, Gwen. Hopefully I won't be too late but…"

"It's ok. Just wake me when you get home and you can continue your ineffective but highly enjoyable methods of getting me to talk." She got ready to stand up but was stopped by his hands on her shoulders.

"If you get up, that sheets gonna fall and I will not…" he sighed, "I love you and I'll be back before you know it." Before leaving he went and grabbed Baba out of his crate and placed the puppy in the bed next to her.

She lay awake for about an hour after he left, rubbing the sleeping dogs belly, wondering how much longer she was going to feel this way, like the Earth was going to swallow her whole. She loved Seeley but didn't understand why he loved her. Lance had told her that she deserved to be happy but she didn't feel that way. She felt like an intruder, an imposter and any day now she was going to be found out. It was getting harder to hide the crying and to fake eating around Seeley – she considered spending more time at Lance's place but he could be just as hard to fool and then Seeley would question why she wasn't staying with him and then there was Baba, she knew that Seel had decided to get the dog when he first noticed she didn't like to be alone at night one of the countless things he had done to show just how much he loved her…She looked down at the puppy – envying him for being so content and happy.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When Booth pulled up outside Brennan's apartment he was furious to see her waiting outside for him. "How many times do I have to tell you that it's dangerous to stand around outside, this late at night?" he asked once she climbed into the SUV.

"I'm sorry, I got bored upstairs and figured you'd be by any minute – I was down there for less than 5 minutes."

"It would have taken less than one for someone to kill you. How can a genius not realize that?"

Brennan looked at him sideways, "You're cranky, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, these late night calls didn't use to bother me as much. Guess I'm getting old."

"You also didn't have someone waiting for you at home, either."

"Yeah, I guess that has something to do with it."

"Have you asked her to move in with you yet?" She asked with a smirk.

"No, I just figured that when we got Baba it would happen naturally."

"Whose Bubba?"

"No, Baba we named the puppy Baba, as in _Baba O'Riley_."

Booth looked over at a very confused Brennan, "It's the greatest rock song of all time, by The Who. You have heard of them, right?"

She crinkled her face, "I've heard of them but I don't think I've ever heard their music."

"I'll play them for you some time." He smiled then sighed, "I'm sorry Bones, I didn't mean to yell at you. I've got a lot on my mind."

"I know you just worry."

"Did Gwen seem ok tonight?"

"She seemed great, are you still worried about her?"

"Yeah, a little. I ask what's wrong and she says nothing or that she's tired, when I know that she's sleeping more than enough. She's lost some weight and she's still quiet and stares at nothing when she thinks I'm not paying attention."

"But you're always paying attention."

"Yeah, I haven't clued her into that yet…I'm going to talk to Sweets on Monday."

Brennan just nodded, she knew that if Gwen was slipping Booth would find a way to blame himself.

"Booth, she was great tonight – I think Angela found a friend for life."

"What did you guys talk about? Gwen wasn't real specific." He narrowed his eyes on his partner when they came to a red light.

Brennan wasn't about to tell her partner that they discussed his powerful and passionate love making style so she skipped that part, "Uh, we talked about Sweets and Samantha and Angela and Gwen talked about their art…just normal dinner conversation."

"If I ask Angela is she going to be as vague as you and Gwen?"

"I'm not being vague that's what we talked about, that's all we talked about." Brennan knew that Angela would be exactly as vague as they had been, the three woman had agreed that what was said between them that night would stay between them.

Changing the subject, Booth said, "Don't forget we have to testify in Baltimore next week – they need us there Thursday and Friday, so we'll leave Wednesday night and come home whenever we're done on Friday, does that work?"

"Are we driving?"

"You know me, Bones. If it's less than 4 hours away, we drive. Actually, I drive."

"Can we split it up this time?"

"Maybe, what did was said about me at dinner?" He shot her his charm smile, the one that she had long-tried to build immunity to but had yet to succeed.

"If I tell you, will you let me drive?"

"I'll split the driving with you."

Brennan weighed her desire to drive against her desire to remain one of the girls, "Can I get back to you on that?"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Booth got home a little after 6 am – the crime scene had been a mess and they ended up bringing out the rest of the Jeffersonian team and the FBI forensic team. When he walked in the front door he found Gwen lying on the couch, asleep with Baba resting on her chest. He tried to be quiet but as soon as the puppy saw him, he leapt off of Gwen waking her.

"What time is it?" She asked as she sat up still half asleep.

"It's a little after 6 – did you stay up all night?" He sat down next to her.

"You know how it is when you're not here at night. I get a little anxious." She said slightly embarrassed, "Its easier for me to sleep out here with the TV."

Sensing her shame at admitting she was scared when he was gone he wrapped his arm around her, "Its ok, Gwen. Nothing to be shy about – I know you don't like to be alone at night. Why do you think we got a dog that's going to get so big?" Booth had specifically chosen a large-breed Boxer – hoping that it would give her a sense of security when he was gone.

"I'm sorry. You should be able to go to work and not worry about me, Seeley. I've got to get over this."

"Gwen, I'm always going to worry about you – it's my nature. I love you, therefore I worry about you…Come on, let's got to bed. I'm exhausted."

They slept the rest of the day, Booth woke first and got a shower around 5 pm. When he returned to the bedroom he was pained by what he saw. Gwen was curled up in a ball on the bed and she was crying. When she saw Booth she tried to wipe the tears away quickly and behave as if nothing was wrong but it was too late, he already saw all he needed to.

Without saying a word he laid down on the bed next to her and she rolled over, latching her body onto his, resting her damp face on his chest. They stayed like that for close to an hour, Gwen would calm down and then a few minutes later she would start up again – she couldn't stop herself. In over a year together Booth had seen her up and down but never like this. When she finally calmed down for good, she lifted her head, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Can you tell me what this is, what can I do?"

"I don't know….I guess…I'm just empty and tired and I have been for awhile but I've been trying to fight it."

"Gwen, you have to know that you don't have to fight this alone. I'm here."

"I don't want to be your burden." She sat up, wiping her face dry.

Booth sat up to face her, "You are not a burden, I love you and I want to take care of you, whatever that means. You need to cry – I'm ok with that. You want to veg out and not talk – that's fine, just let me do it with you. I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I know, I just…I thought this time…this time was going to be different but…"

"It is different – you have me. Nothing's going to hurt you, not with me here. Got that?"

She nodded

He reached out and stroked her cheek, "If I make dinner, will you eat?"

"I'm not really hungry. I think I just want to go back to sleep."

"Gwen, when was the last time you ate? You need to eat. I'll make you anything you want."

"Seeley, I'm really not-"

"I'll make pancakes, you _will _eat some and then you can go back to bed – if you want or we can talk or not talk. I don't want to force you to do anything – except eat, you gotta do that. Ok?"

"Ok, I'm going to get a shower." Booth watched her walk into the bathroom and shut the door. He waited until he heard the water start before getting up. He decided that tomorrow he had to talk to Sweets, he had given the situation a week and there was no improvement. Besides, there was another matter all together that he needed to discuss with Sweets.

Gwen sat on the edge of the tub furious with herself for breaking down the way she had – she had tried so hard to keep the bulk of her pain away from Booth. She wanted to be the fun, sexy girl he met that day on the cross-country trail but she was slipping and finding herself closer and closer to the abyss.


	8. Chapter 8

The following day, Sweets was sitting at his desk when Booth knocked on his door.

"Agent Booth, did we have an appointment? I was getting ready to head out for lunch."

"No, we don't have an appointment. I wanted to talk to you about Gwen."

Sweets' heart sunk into his stomach, "Is she ok?"

"She's fine…for the most part." He took a seat across from Sweets.

"Most part?"

"The last few weeks she just hasn't been herself. She's down, she told me that she feels empty. She's lost some weight, she doesn't talk as much as she used to, and she just seems off. But she's been working a lot and I think she's just a little rundown."

"Could be, could be the season change. You know that affects her too."

"Yeah, I've read a little about that. I really think she's going to be fine. I just need to keep an eye on her."

"Thanks for letting me know – I'll check on her later today. Give her a doctor a call, I'm still her health care proxy so he should talk to me. But you're probably right, season change, work stress – it can take its toll."

"That's not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about." Booth shifted in his seat.

"What's up?"

"I know you're Gwen's younger brother, but you're all the family she has." Booth paused, finding the nerve to say what he came to say. "I want to marry her and I would like your blessing." He raised his eyebrows as if to say 'yeah, I know this is a big deal'.

Sweets knew that Booth was an honorable man so him coming and asking for his blessing didn't surprise Sweets but that didn't change the fact that it made the young doctor feel respected and grateful that his sister had chosen such a good guy.

"You know that won't fix the problem – if she is having an episode?"

"I know, but the thing is, I've been thinking about it forever and two months ago Bones and I went to this antique store to question a witness and I saw the perfect ring. I went back the next day and bought it. I love her and I recognize that it's not always going to be easy but nothing worth having is. At least for me."

"Then you totally have my blessing." Sweets stood to shake Booth's hand. "Have you told anyone else? When are you going to do it?"

"Uh…I haven't told anyone and I'm not sure when, yet. Bones and I have to testify out of town later this week so maybe when I get home from that." He smiled, "I love your sister and I promise you that I'll take care of her - her well-being is the most important thing to me."

"I know Booth, she loves you too. Thank you."

"For what?"

"You've given her something that I can't name but it seems to be the one thing that had always been missing. And for that I am thankful, I'll always be thankful."

Booth stood to leave, "While I'm gone this week, will you ask her to stay with you? I'd hate for her to be alone, especially now. She really isn't good alone at night."

"Yeah, she's been like that her whole life – I can't imagine how she coped before when she lived alone. She'll probably jump at the chance to come and stay with me. Besides, I haven't spent much time with her lately."

"How are things with you and Finn?"

"Excellent…really, really excellent."

"Glad to hear it – we'll talk again before I leave?"

"Yeah, I'll call Gwen and ask her to come stay with me."

"Thanks, Sweets." Booth left the office feeling slightly lighter on his feet.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Booth and Brennan were sitting in a court cafeteria in Baltimore on the following Thursday afternoon, waiting to be called as witnesses. Booth was scribbling in his notebook and Brennan was reading. Booth was silently recalling the last few days he had spent with Gwen, thinking that she seemed to be better, hoping that she was better. He felt that after finally opening up to him and talking with her brother she started to put things in perspective – she seemed happier, more energetic. Before he had left the night before, they made love twice once while he was packing and then again as he was getting ready to walk out the door. He had been late picking Bones up and had to make up an excuse about Baba getting out of the yard.

He planned on proposing to her Saturday night – at home. He had been taking notes of what he wanted to say for weeks and he still wasn't sure how he was going to do it. He just knew that he couldn't stand to wait much longer. He also wanted to tell Brennan before – she was his best friend and more than he was comfortable admitting, her opinion mattered a great deal to him.

After close to an hour of silence, Booth cleared his throat and blurted out, "I'm going to ask Gwen to marry me this weekend."

"Really?" Brennan wasn't surprised by his intentions but by the fact that he was telling her before it happened.

He glanced at her and smiled, "Yeah, I bought the ring like 2 months ago and just when I think the moments right something comes up and she hasn't been feeling well but the damn thing is burning a hole in my pocket and I can't wait."

"I'm happy for you, Booth. I know you've wanted this for a long time."

"I have…I really have…I just wanted you to know before it happened – so you weren't shocked."

She smiled, a genuine smile, "I'm not shocked, I knew something was different about her and you the first time I saw you together. She's good for you and it appears that you are even better for her."

"I hope so."

"I know so – I can see it and my skills of observation have gotten much better in recent years." She wanted to ask how Gwen was feeling, to make sure that this wasn't a last ditch effort by him to shake her into happiness but she could tell by the look on his face that he had no questions about what he was going to do. If Booth wasn't questioning it, why should Brennan?

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Later that evening Sweets sat with Gwen in his living room. They had spent the day together shopping for Samantha's birthday and he had been secretly evaluating her all day. For the most part she seemed good – there were flashes of something under the surface but nothing that he could really hone in on. He had spoken with her current doctor the day that Booth had come to see him and from his point of view everything was just as it should be with Gwen. No one was happy all the time – not even someone on medication. The important thing the two doctors agreed on was that the people in her life were paying close enough attention to her that they noticed even the slightest change in her mood.

"I'm going to head over to Seels and check on Baba." Sweets' apartment didn't allow pets so even though Gwen had agreed to stay with her brother the puppy had to stay at Booth's and she was worried about him being alone for too long.

"You are coming back tonight, right?"

"Yes, I'll be back – I just need to let him out and feed him. Poor little guy hasn't spent a night alone since we got him." That was true but there were a few other things that Gwen needed to take care of at Booth's place.

"Ok, I'll be up for awhile – I challenge you to Scrabble."

Gwen smiled, the one game that she could win. Her brother may be a genius but he had nothing on her when it came to vocab. "I accept your challenge, I'll be back in a few hours."

While Gwen was gone, Booth called. At first Sweets started to panic, he was worried that Booth was going to be angry that Gwen wasn't there – then he realized that Gwen was his sister, his responsibility. He explained that she had gone over to his house to check on Baba but they had spent the day together and she was good, a little down but overall good.

When Gwen returned a few hours later the siblings sat up most of the night playing Scrabble, looking at pictures and catching up on all that they had missed over the last few months. Months spent with their new significant others, the individuals who wanted to be their future. That was one of the problems of deciding on what your future would be – you had to find a way to reconcile it with your past and your present.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

The next evening Booth and Brennan were headed home from Baltimore.

"Hey Bones?"

"Booth?"

"Did you break up with Kyle?"

"Uh, not really. He's just not in town a lot and …"

"And what?"

"He's boring, ok you and Angela were right – Kyle is boring."

"I'm sorry, Bones." And he really was, he wanted her to be happy.

They were about 20 minutes outside of the city when Brennan received a call on her cell from a number she didn't recognize.

"Brennan…yes this is she…oh, hi how is-…oh" Brennan's eyes shifted to Booth who was tapping out the rhythm to the song on the radio on the steering wheel. "Yes, I'm here…about 20 minutes from the city…which one?….no….thank…ok."

"What's up, Bones?"

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, " We need to go to University Hospital, now."

There was something in her voice that he had never heard before, "What's wrong, who was that?"

"It was Samantha, Sam Finn? Sweets girlfriend?'

"I know who she is, Bones. Why did she call you?"

Brennan debated on what to say and how to say it. She'd been with Booth when he'd done this a hundred times but she never witnessed him telling someone that he loved that the person they loved and wanted to marry was dead.

"Damn it Bones, what?!"

"It's Gwen." It was all she could manage to say but by the infliction in her voice he knew exactly what she meant.

They arrived at the hospital in less than 10 minutes. Nothing was said between the partners on the way or once they got there. Booth pulled into the fire lane and was out of the car before Brennan even had the chance to undo her seatbelt. Watching him walk into the hospital she questioned whether or not she should be there – was it really her place? She decided that he wouldn't leave her alone at a time like this and she wasn't about to do it to him.

As she entered the emergency room waiting room she saw Booth bent over the counter holding up his badge. Then Sweets and Sam came around the corner with a doctor at their heels. When the doctor took the two men back to speak with them in private, Sam with eyes puffy and red, came to Brennan.

"I'm sorry I called you but Lance couldn't and I don't know Seeley that well and I thought that it might be easier if you…"

"No, calling me was fine. I thought she was ok. What happened?"

"Lance and I went to the movies and when we got back to his place there was music blaring from her room…so Lance went in there and she was…he thought she was asleep." She took a minute to keep herself from crying, someone needed to be able to tell the story clearly. "He couldn't get her to wake up…she wouldn't, he called for me and started CPR and I called 911…but it was too late – we were too late…She was gone."

"How?"

"Her medication, the best we can tell, right now is that she took everything she had. I'm sure that's what the doctor is going over with them now."

Brennan knew exactly what was happening in that little room that the ER doctor had taken Booth and Sweets into but she couldn't imagine what either of them was feeling.

"I know that he was going to propose to her this weekend…Lance thinks the world of Seeley …"

"He isn't alone." Brennan then remembered that Booth was supposed to pick up Parker in the morning. She thought that she should call Rebecca and let her know what had happened, the only problem was she didn't have Rebecca's phone number. She knew that Booth kept an address book in the SUV. "I just remembered something – if Booth comes out will you tell him I ran out to the car?"

Samantha nodded.

In the SUV, she found his address book in the console. When she opened it several small pieces of paper fell out. At first she couldn't figure out what they were but as she laid them out on her lap she realized that they were notes that Booth had made for himself, for when he proposed to Gwen.

~I wasn't looking for you when I found you so that has to mean something

~You understand my work and accept it

~I have a reason to actually leave the office at the end of the day

~I want you forever

~You've made my house a home

~I like the place we've found together, away from the abyss

~Parker loves you, my family loves you

~You saved me from myself

~I love that you're never asleep when I'm awake

~Dancing in the kitchen with you never seems stupid

~Your eyes are never the same shade of green and I love waking up in the morning to find out what color they are going to be that day

There were a dozen more but she stopped herself from reading the rest, she didn't enjoy invading his privacy at a time like this. She shoved the notes into the console.

Reading over the very personal notes Brennan found herself overcome with grief, hot tears were stinging her face. Yes, Gwen was a good person and the world was going to be a worse place without her but the grief Brennan felt was for Booth and the future he had lost.

This man who had been so careful to love, so certain that this woman was what he wanted forever, had it all taken away from him with one selfish gesture. She rested her head on the back of the seat and sobbed for her partner, her best friend – Booth was far too good a man for the cruelty the world seemed to continually through at him.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBb

After calming down and calling Rebecca, Brennan made her way back into the hospital she found Booth and Sweets standing in the hall both staring at the floor. She wasn't sure what to say she hung back and listened to them.

"So, there was no note?" Booth asked barely above a whisper.

Sweets shook his head, "Not a written one, no. She left one in her own way."

Booth raised his head and looked at Sweets confused.

"She left _Thunder Road_ on repeat in the stereo and chapter 43 of the 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' spread open."

"The song I understand but the book?" Booth had read it years ago – for a class but he didn't know the significance of that particular chapter.

"You'd have to read it but there is a famous quote from that chapter 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.' I think she was trying to say that she knew what she was leaving behind but she couldn't stop herself or maybe she left it open by accident – I don't know…" Sweets started to cry and Samantha took that as her cue to go to him and lead him out of the hospital. She rested a hand on Booth's arm.

"I'm sorry, Seeley. We'll call you later."

He nodded but didn't look up until he knew that they were gone. When he did he saw Brennan standing on the opposite side of the hall. "Bones…" was all he managed to utter before the tears came. She crossed the hall, bridging the gap between them, and he fell into her.

"Booth, I'm so sorry…I'm so…" She realized that nothing she could say would make him feel better all she could do was be there.

They stood there, her holding him up, for what seemed liked hours. Eventually he pulled back, wiped his face clean and said with a shaky voice, "Baba hasn't been out all day. I need to go home. I have to go, Bones."

"Ok, we can go." They made their way out to the SUV and got into their pre-assigned seats. As he pointed the vehicle toward her apartment, Brennan tried to think of something to say, something of meaning but nothing came to her. When they pulled up outside her apartment, she reached for the notes in the console and turned to him, "I know that you were supposed to get Parker in the morning, so while you were with…I came out here to get Rebecca's number – I called her and told her that there was an emergency and that you wouldn't be there in the morning but you would call her, I didn't go into details…"

"Thanks, Bones. Thanks for thinking of Parker."

"The thing is when I opened your address book, these fell out." She held up the notes, "I didn't read them, at least not all of them…I just don't want you to let what happened tonight taint how you felt when you wrote these." He took the papers from her and slowly unfolded them.

"These are uh…notes I've been making for months. Things I think about when she's not with me…" He looked down at his own writing and quickly folded the paper back up and shoved it in his pocket.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She knew his answer would be no, but she needed to offer regardless.

"No, I want…I need to be alone." He looked at her with a pained expression, almost as if he was apologizing to her for wanting to be alone. Brennan understood, she was the queen of needing to be alone.

"Ok, I'll call you – in the morning?"

He nodded.

She leaned across the cab and gave him a lop-sided hug telling him again just how sorry she was. Brennan slowly got out and made her way across the street to her building, looking back at Booth several times. Even in the midst of his own crisis he waited to pull away until she got up to her apartment and flashed her lights – letting him know that she had gotten in safely.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When Sweets and Samantha left the hospital, she knew that he couldn't go home – not that night, perhaps not ever. So, she took him back to her apartment. They were both psychologists – trained to help people cope with the worst parts of life but now with the cruelness of the world sitting between them in the car neither of them knew what to say or do.

When they entered the dark apartment they didn't bother with turning the lights on. Sweets heavily fell into the couch and Sam took a seat perched on the edge beside him. She could feel him crying more than hear or see it. The couch rose and fell with each of his sobs. She laid a hand on his thigh and he grabbed it with his own and squeezed it as if it were the only thing keeping him anchored to the world.

"I always knew that I'd lose her this way, always. Its like she had been slowly killing herself since I was 14 and I have just been waiting for her to finish it."

"Lance…"

"The only thing that makes this harder than I always imagined it is that I thought this time…I thought that this time the bases were covered – she was here with me, she was seeing an excellent doctor that I communicated with weekly, and she had Booth and he loved her and I think ultimately that's all she was ever looking for…someone to love her in spite of herself and he did and it still wasn't enough." He stood, he had gone quickly from despair to anger, "How could she do this to me? To me! I have always done everything for her…for her and she couldn't just hang around for me? Just muddle through?"

"I'm sure that there was a part of her that thought that she was doing this for you. With her gone, you could finally have a life. Not that I believe that's true but I believe she held a lot of guilt for the space that she took up in your life."

"I didn't mind."

"I know, everyone who knows you knows that, Lance."

Sweets fell back into the couch and repeated over and over again, "I didn't mind." Samantha pulled him close to her and eventually he fell asleep, exhausted from the day's events - from living though his worst nightmare.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

When Booth walked into his house that night, he wasn't sure what he would find. There was a part of him that hoped she had left something behind for him – something that would explain why she did what she did. But the other part of him couldn't imagine anything that could explain why.

He heard Baba whimpering in his cage before he even turned the light on. He went and took care of the puppy first. After Baba had been outside and fed, Booth made his way to the bedroom. He looked around and realized that Gwen had removed all of her belongings. She left nothing to remind him of her. Her clothes, her jewelry, her books, everything was gone. At first glance, no one would have ever even known that she had been there at all.

He sat down on the bed and tried to make sense of it all but soon realized there was no sense to be made. He dropped to his knees and did the only thing he knew to do – he prayed. He prayed for Gwen's soul and that she would finally find peace, he prayed for Lance and all that he had lost and he prayed that God would somehow show him the way to get through this, to survive this.

When he finished he buried his head in the sheets and found himself enveloped in Gwen's scent – the one reminder that she couldn't take. He pulled himself up onto the bed and dragged her pillow over to his side of the bed and let go. He cried, he cried in a way that he couldn't ever remember doing previously as an adult. It was a body shaking-suffocating cry that he didn't think would ever end. Then he felt something pulling at the blankets of the bed, he looked down and saw Baba – on his hind legs, begging to be let up on the bed. He grabbed the puppy and rested him on his chest.

Eye to eye with the little brown and white beast he whispered, "It's just us now…she's gone." Some how saying to out loud to this creature that Gwen had loved so much made it all the more real for Booth. He wouldn't remember later but that night, for the first time since he was a child, he cried himself to sleep.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

In the weeks after Gwen's death, Booth was barely recognizable - even to the people who knew him best. He still came to work everyday and did his job but he was a shell of the person he once was. When Gwen took her own life, she took something from him that no one could give back.

He never talked about her, not even to Sweets. In fact he avoided Sweets entirely. Brennan was at a loss when it came to helping him. In the beginning, she spent a lot of time researching grief and how to help a loved one through it but in the end all she could do for Booth was sit quietly with him and give him the space that he silently demanded.

Then one night, about 2 months after Gwen, Brennan was startled by a knock on her door shortly after midnight. She opened the door to find Booth, looking haggard and exhausted. He entered her apartment and sat down on the couch without saying a word. She went to the kitchen and grabbed two beers when she came back to the living room she handed him one and sat in the recliner facing him. They said nothing, Booth stared at the wall and when Brennan realized that he hadn't come for conversation she continued reading her anthropology journal that she had been flipping through before he arrived. After an hour or so of sitting in absolute silence, Booth finally spoke.

"I thought if I loved her enough, it would tether her to life."

"Booth..." Brennan had known from the beginning that he blamed himself but hearing him say the words out loud pained her.

"I wasn't enough."

"Gwen was sick - nothing you could have done was going to change that. It doesn't mean that she didn't love you or that you didn't love her enough."

He sniffled back a few tears and leaned toward Brennan, "I am 36 years old, and I have only loved two women enough to want to marry them. One turned me down flat and the other killed herself before I had the chance to ask. What does that say about me as a man?"

"I don't know what those two_ separate _instances mean - I don't think they are in any way related. You know Rebecca had her reasons, reasons that she later regretted. And Gwen? I don't know if you could have ever saved her, even if you spent every waking minute with her, you never could have saved her from herself. In both cases you bent over backwards to care for them and to do what was right. And both of those situations tell me something that I have known for years, you are a good man, Seeley."

Hearing his first name coming from her was foreign to Booth, it unnerved him. Now, he knew why she hated him calling her Temperance. "Sweets keeps wanting to meet, to talk..."

"You should talk to him, he lost her too."

"Yeah, but it's not his fault. I promised him that I would take care of her and I didn't and he's...do you know that he has no family now?" The tears streaming down his face were the first Brennan had seen since that night at the hospital. Booth crying scared her, the way a little girl was scared when her father cried. Booth was the strong one, the one that held it all together and if he could fall apart, no one else stood a chance.

"It's not your fault. It's not Booth....And Sweets is not alone - we are unconventional and dysfunctional but we are a family - we are his family now. I know how he feels, he's less than 10 years older than I was when I lost my family, it hurt that my parents were nowhere to be found but it practically killed me when Russ left, when he turned his back on me."

"Like I've turned my back on Sweets?"

"In a way, yes. I am always here day or night for you but you know that I'm not the person you need to talk to - you two need each other. I would venture a guess that you not speaking to him is hurting him more than you speaking to him will hurt you."

Booth took a moment to process what she said, "That's pretty damn insightful, Bones." He was able to muster the first semblance of a smile in months.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I read it in a book."

He leaned back and rubbed his eyes, eyes that hadn't seen more than an hour or two of sleep in days, and sighed, "I guess I do need to talk to him."

"I have his new address and phone number - do you need it?"

"Bones, I'm FBI, I got it. Besides it's late. I'll go see him in the morning. Do you mind if I stay here for awhile?"

"Of course not." Brennan watched as his body relaxed and stretched out. It never ceased to amaze her how he managed to make his large frame appear so small and shrunken when he was upset. Before she finished the next article in her journal - he was asleep. She covered him up with the blanket from the back of the couch.

Watching him sleep, it occurred to her for the first time since the incident that Booth might never again be the same man that she had always known. The man that had her held hostage at the airport just so he could talk to her all those years ago, when they first became partners. She smiled, thinking back to those first cases and how far they had come. Brennan reached down and smoothed his hair that had been sticking out all over. "Good night, Booth." She whispered before shutting off the light and retreating to her own bed.

When Brennan woke the next morning she wasn't surprised to find that Booth was gone with a note left in his place. She knew Booth, she knew that he needed time and space to clear his head - to find his way back.

She never could've imagined just how much time and space.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

After leaving Brennan's apartment early that morning, Booth went home to shower and change before heading over to Sweets' new place. After the events that had taken place in his apartment, he never slept another night there. He temporarily moved in with Samantha but 2 months later he was still there and had no intention of leaving.

In the beginning Sweets had hoped that he and Booth would be able to lean on each other but he quickly learned that Seeley Booth could lean on no one when it came to this, not even Brennan. Some people thought that he should be angry with the agent for not returning his requests to meet but Sweets understood that in some ways Booth's pain was greater than his own. Gwen had been a part of Sweets' entire life. There wasn't a memory, good or bad that she wasn't somehow connected to and he was grateful for that. But Booth, he had her for less than 2 years, his memories would forever be limited and stained by that one night.

The other major fact that differentiated their grief was that Sweets and Gwen would always have remained, siblings, family. There would have been milestones to celebrate together but the part they played in each others lives would never have changed. Booth and Gwen, on the other hand had a future that was slowly revealing itself to them over time. Four months prior, when Booth bought her ring, he saw a life with her starting with a proposal and ending in old age, surrounded by family. That future would remain, for the rest of his life, an unknown factor. No matter how far he ran from it or how hard he tried to get past it there would always be a part of him that would be asking 'What if?'. And without him every having to say it – Sweets understood that.

After being let in, Booth stood in the front hall and began speaking without any greeting or small talk. "I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to some and see you. There is no excuse for me turning my back on you except that this is all my fault and I was too much of a coward to look you in the eye."

"This is not your fault, if anything you being in her life gave me extra time with her that I otherwise wouldn't have been given. You loving her and caring for her gave me two extra years with my sister. Two years that for the most part she was happy. I could never blame you for her death. You were out of town on business, we had discussed that she seemed to becoming undone and I agreed that I'd keep an eye on her – if anyone is to blame it's me. I shouldn't have left her."

"I should have come to you sooner – when I first noticed that something wasn't right."

"I knew she was down, I'm a trained psychologist and what did I do? I went to the movies, left her alone and…then she was gone. I saw the signs and I still left her…I feel like I took away your future."

"Sweets, you need to know that I don't blame you. I haven't for one second since this happened. All you ever did was take care of her."

"All you ever did was love her – how can I blame you for that? How can I be angry with you for that? More than anything that's what she needed – to be loved, really loved by one person and I'm thankful that she got to experience that before the end." Samantha stood quietly around the corner, listening to their conversation – a conversation that should have taken place months earlier. It almost broke her heart when she heard the distinct sound of both men sniffling back tears.

"Gwen started to run the day she learned to walk but she never had a predetermined course. She never found her purpose, you know? We all have something that we were put on this planet for and Gwen never slowed down long enough to see why she was here."

"Why do you think she was here?" Booth asked as he leaned up against the wall.

Sweets took a similar stance on the opposite wall. "Having her as a sister was trying at times but she always loved me. I realize now, that was the embodiment of who she was. Gwen loved me unconditionally and she never waivered from that. She knew how upset she made me and how much I wanted her to change but that didn't matter to her."

Booth sighed, a tired and empty sigh, "I have so many questions..."

"Do you think the answer to any of them is going to make this easier? I know how you feel. Sometimes, I think the same thing. But I don't think that knowing why or what could have been done to help her will make it easier for me to sleep at night. Gwen is gone."

"Gwen is gone." Booth echoed his words, "There are days when it feels like she was never here at all and then other days like she never left."

"I know. I get that too."

"I need to get to the office…I'm sorry about it all - losing her and shutting you out – you didn't deserve that."

"Neither did you. By the way, working 7 days a week isn't going to make this any better, you know that, right?"

"Yup, but I also know that it's all I can do…We should get a drink some night – if you call me, I promise I'll answer the phone from now on."

Sweets watched Booth leave and Samantha joined him in the hall. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest while he rested his chin on her head. She knew that resolving things with Booth was one of the last things that he needed to do to move on.

"Is he going to be ok?" She asked, looking up at him.

"I really don't know. He seems emptier than I imagined he would – weaker. As long as I've known him he's been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders – I even nicknamed him Atlas in my early case reports about him…I thought he was the strongest one of us…"

"Lance, look at you. You lost your sister, your family – the only connection you have to your past and you've managed to shuffle on, move forward bit by bit and now all you're worried about is him and how he's going to fair in the end. You are by far the strongest. By far."


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue

2 years later

Booth stood nervously in front of the crowd, pulling at his bow tie, waiting for everyone to quiet down.

"I first met the groom when I arrested my then-partner's father for murder and Lance was brought in to assess our ability to continue working together, from that we struck up a professional relationship that somehow managed to turn into a friendship. But it ended up losing someone we both loved to become family." Booth paused, and took a deep breath before continuing, "I don't always like him or agree with him but he's like a brother to me and I do love him." He turned to look at Sweets, "I know that if she were here, Gwen would have something a lot more meaningful and beautiful to say because that's what she did, she made the world and life just a little more meaningful and a lot more beautiful. I also know that she would be more than happy for you and Samantha, she'd be elated that her little brother, her Angel Baby, found someone to spend the rest of his life with who loved him almost as much as she did." Choking back a few tears, Booth raised his glass, "To Lance and Sam, best wishes for the happy future you both deserve."

The crowd responded, "To Lance and Sam!" As the crowd lifted their glasses and bottles of champagne the room was awash in translucent green glass and Booth felt like there were hundreds of Gwen's eyes on him. He stepped down from the podium and headed for the nearest exit to get some air. He had been preparing the speech for weeks but didn't expect the emotion that would overcome him when the moment came.

Booth heard footsteps coming up behind him, without turning to look he said, "Sweets, you're going to miss your limo and Finn will never forgive you if you miss the plane to Italy." He turned toward his old therapist and current friend with a smile, "Really, you couldn't have done any better than that beautiful woman standing in that room waiting for you."

Sweets grinned, "I know, what is she doing with me? Have you seen us together? We do not fit."

"Yes, you do...You do...Ever notice how a woman's back is shaped almost like a question mark?"

Sweets nodded

Booth poked him in the arm, "You are the answer to her question. Go get her and get on that plane and start the life you deserve." He reached out and gave Sweets a 'guy hug', the only person other than Brennan that Booth ever felt comfortable hugging was Lance Sweets.

Samantha joined them on the deck to say good-bye to Booth while Sweets went to make one final pass through the crowd. Sam pulled Booth off to the side.

"You have no idea how worried Lance was that you wouldn't show up, Seeley. Then he was worried that if you did come you would sit in the back of the room, alone. He never imagined that you would get up and speak in front of everyone...Lance considers himself to be very much an orphan, all alone in the world except for you." Samantha held back tears. "You'll never know what it means to him that you're here...Promise me that you'll come visit us in the new house once we get settled?"

Booth smiled and nodded.

"Promise me, Seeley Booth." She had her hands on her hips and wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer.

He led her to the glass entrance, "I promise you." He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, "Go on your honeymoon, take care of my little buddy and we'll talk soon."

Sam gestured toward the crowd inside, "It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you went inside and started behaving like you're not just existing but actually living."

"I'll think about it, Finn." He opened the door for her, a rush of warmth and noise washed over them, and Booth watched her cross the room, interlock her hand with Sweets' as they made their way downstairs to the waiting limo, off to start the life that was waiting for them.

Booth walked over to the railing of the deck of the beach house that had been rented for the wedding reception, watching the limo's taillights fade in the distance. He was thankful that the early September night was too cold for the other guests, he was thankful to be alone.

He leaned over the railing, looking at the dark waves lapping below and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Gwen and the years since she'd been gone. He had left DC a few months after her death - he needed to put distance between him and all the reminders she had left behind and even though he hated to be away from Parker and it killed him to see his son less often, it ended up being the only way Booth found to survive. He was able to start over a little at a time. Away from his old life, he was able to consider the idea of beginning a new one.

The End

**Please look for the sequel 'The Emerald Abyss' .**

~Smurfs

-------------------------------


End file.
